Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Advantages and disadvantages of increased life time v.1

Advantages and disadvantages of increased life time v. 1
The average life span of human beings has been increased because of the improvement in medical facilities. This essay will discuss both the pros and cons of the increased life expectancy and will explain why its merits outweigh the disadvantages. Providing health care for the older generation is one of the major hurdles faced by governments across the world. The government has to spend more on their budget for the welfare of senior citizens. In addition to that, old people can’t be much active in their job and they won’t be in a position to work after a certain age. For instance, more people will be retired from the workforce and the responsibility of driving the country and economy will fall on the shoulders of young people. These are the major disadvantages of increased life span. In contrast, there are numerous advantages to have veterans around us. As these folks are more experienced than us, we can always get their opinion before finalizing a crucial decision. For example, my father was able to complete our new home on budget and time because of the valuable advice he took from my grandfather. The younger generation will also have the benefit of having a loved one around them. When my grandmother died, I was distressed and wished she could have lived longer. It is always difficult to say goodbye to the people we loved and we often think that we should have spent more time with them. This emphasizes the importance of having senior folks around us. We should always welcome the improvement in medical facilities as it has a positive impact on human beings. Even though there are certain demerits for increased life span, its advantages outweigh all of them.
The average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span of human beings has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the improvement in medical facilities. This essay will discuss both the pros and cons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why its merits outweigh the disadvantages.

Providing health care for the older generation is one of the major hurdles faced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
across the world. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend more on their budget for the welfare of senior citizens.
In addition
to that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t be much active in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they won’t be in a position to work after a certain age.
For instance
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be retired
from the workforce and the responsibility of driving the country and economy will fall on the shoulders of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These are the major disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span.

In contrast
, there are numerous advantages to have veterans around us. As these folks are more experienced than us, we can always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
finalizing a crucial decision.
For example
, my father was able to complete our new home on budget and time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the valuable advice he took from my grandfather. The younger generation will
also
have the benefit of having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one around them. When my grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
, I
was distressed
and wished she could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
longer. It is always difficult to say goodbye to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
loved and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should have spent more time with them. This emphasizes the importance of having senior folks around us.

We should always welcome the improvement in medical facilities as it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on human beings.

Even though
there are certain demerits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span, its advantages outweigh all of them.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of increased life time v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts