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Banks should receive billions of dollars in assistance from their governments during a financial crisis that was in large part their fault. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Banks should receive billions of dollars in assistance from their governments during a financial crisis that was in large part their fault. with this statement? v. 1
Nowadays, public funds are maintained by the banks and they are usually backed by the power. In a difficult situation, sometimes these bank faces tremendous trouble regulating capital it happens due to lack of instant fund, people opine that in a situation of financial crisis government should help the banks. In my opinion, I agree with the statement and I think government should provide essential funds to the bank. First of all, government is the main handler of a country, and it has the responsibility to provide assistance to people whenever needed. In other words, in situations of disasters, government should take stand and should come forth in helping the public areas. For example, in America, when the great depression occurred, the US government initiated the procedure to help the banks but it turned out to be a fail as they made the call late. further, there are cases where the law had no interaction and the country went to financial breakdown. Secondly, government makes the norms on which banks operate and thus they are bound to the restrictions. Official should look after the bank during money crisis because due to these restrictions, which are imposed by the government the banks get collapses. For instance, government restricts banks to lend money to the clients which take loads of money to the bank in terms of loan for investment purposes. This stops the cash flow in the market and people have to suffer. To encapsulate, banks are dependent on ministry and in case of financial crisis they face a lot of issues. I believe banks are the backbone of a country and they are responsible for the growth and the regulation of money, in the hard situations state can provide them wealth so that economy of provincial can remain stable.
Nowadays, public funds
are maintained
by the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
banks and
they are
usually
backed by the power. In a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
faces tremendous trouble regulating capital it happens due to lack of instant fund,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of financial crisis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide essential funds to the bank.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is the main handler of a country, and it has the responsibility to provide assistance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whenever needed.
In other words
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
of disasters,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take stand and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forth in helping the public areas.
For example
, in America, when the great depression occurred, the US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
initiated the procedure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it turned out to be a fail as they made the call late.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
further
, there are cases where the law had no interaction and the country went to financial breakdown.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the norms on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
operate and
thus
they
are bound
to the restrictions. Official should look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
due to these restrictions, which
are imposed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
collapses.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
restricts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
to lend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the clients which take loads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
in terms of loan for investment purposes. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
the cash flow in the market and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer.

To encapsulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
are dependent on ministry and in case of financial crisis they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
issues. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
are the backbone of a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they are responsible for the growth and the regulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
state can provide them wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that economy of provincial can remain stable.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Banks should receive billions of dollars in assistance from their governments during a financial crisis that was in large part their fault. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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