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Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should and make sure they have access to the internet. They believe this is the best way to use public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent d v.2

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should and make sure they have access to the internet. They believe this is the best way to use public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. 2
Unemployment is a major sin in which the person remain left behind from having job or any source of earning. In the current time of technological advancement, one of the most pressing concerns regarding the given topic is that either it would be fruitful for the people to have job; seeking the help from mobile phones given by the government? I am completely agreed with this statement and shall explore the dimensions of this topic and shape up my opinion by the end. To begin with, half of the total population is unemployed in the country like India. They do not have any way to get job. The reason behind this is that, there are not enough sources of employment because India os at the developing stage. Therefore, government should carefully think about this serious aspect. It should help the people who are leading a poor life and do not have any source of earning so in this regards, government should have to provide mobile phones to those people who has been suffering from unemployment. Moreover, it would be great advantage for them if they would make use of mobile phones for finding the job. Furthermore, they can easily find the way to have a particular job with the help of it. The best epitome of this is that, people who are below the poverty line, those who do not have enough money even to survive then how they would buy a phone on their own? Therefore, mobile phones must be provided by the government to them. Apart from them, internet plays a greatest role in trading or doing a particular job online. In this modern era, most of the people are taking advantage of the internet so government should provide faculty of free internet usage along with the mobile phones. In addition to this, unemployed ones could do any online business as well as they could gain more knowledge regarding a particular field in which they want to go. Furthermore, with the aid of internet, they would not have any need to pay for the tutor and experts for having knowledge about something. They can easily access to the internet as it would enhance their knowledge. For instance, a survey was conducted by a marketing company, it revealed the information that 48% of people are earning through the internet by online business so the people who find any difficulty to have job, they can turn their mind towards this side. In conclusion, I tend to believe that government should not provide mobile phones and free access to internet to each and every person. It should have to provide only to needy people.
Unemployment is a major sin in which the person remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind from having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or any source of earning. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time of technological advancement, one of the most pressing concerns regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic is that either it would be fruitful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
; seeking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
? I am completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with this statement and shall explore the dimensions of this topic and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, half of the total population
is unemployed
in the country like India. They do not have any way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The reason behind this is that, there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sources of employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
India
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
at the developing stage.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
carefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about this serious aspect. It should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are leading a poor life and do not have any source of earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
been suffering from unemployment.
Moreover
, it would be great advantage for them if they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Furthermore
, they can
easily
find the way to have a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of it. The best epitome of this is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are below the poverty line, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money even to survive then how they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
?
Therefore
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to them.

Apart from them, internet plays
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
greatest role in trading or doing a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
online. In this modern era, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking advantage of the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
faculty of free internet usage along with the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
In addition
to this, unemployed ones could do any online business
as well
as they could gain more knowledge regarding a particular field in which they want to go.
Furthermore
, with the aid of internet, they would not have any need to pay for the tutor and experts for having knowledge about something. They can
easily
access to the internet as it would enhance their knowledge.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by a marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, it revealed the information that 48% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are earning through the internet by online business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
find any difficulty to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, they can turn their mind towards this side.

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and free access to internet to each and every person. It should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should and make sure they have access to the internet. They believe this is the best way to use public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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