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Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they do not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they do not do well at school. v. 1
A question central to today's educational debate is either tertiary education should be only offered for students with top marks or all people, regardless of age and academic performance, should be given this opportunity. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following essay. Firstly, high school students those graduates with flying colours are more deserved to attend educational institutions as their grades imply their superior academic skills. Compared to their peers, they are much better with exceptional academic ability, interpersonal skills, and memory which enables them to handle the heavy workload and pressure at university as well as rarely find themselves out of their depth. Moreover, university life is not intended for those who are not well-prepared. In Vietnam, the drop-out rate a higher education is shown to correlate with the lack of ability, skills, and even preparation for studying at higher levels. Gifted students, however, are instilled the value of learning so soon that they self-prepare everything such as time managing, critical thinking, and analyst skills for the life at university. Thus, they are deserved with this chance. On the other hand, there is a aforementioned idea that it is unrealistic and unreasonable to now allow all people of all ages and academic levels to go to college. Since success cannot be determined by age or a personal's intellectual potential, there is no reason to refuse them acquire necessary skills and knowledge for their future career. In some majors requiring both depth-thinking and life experiences, such as psychology and education management, the old might do even better than the top students since they have more experiences with practical situations they mention about. An academic degree, is also a guarantee for job prospects and career security since recruiters always prioritize on choosing applicants with formal qualifications. Therefore, allowing them to attend college and gaining a degree will give them a chance to a brighter future. To summarize, although providing higher education only for high marks people is advantageous, I still support the idea that providing it for all people is more just and beneficial.
A question central to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's educational debate is either tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offered for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with top marks or all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regardless of age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance, should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
this opportunity. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following essay.

Firstly
, high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
those graduates with flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
are more deserved to attend educational institutions as their grades imply their superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Compared to their peers, they are much better with exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
ability, interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and memory which enables them to handle the heavy workload and pressure at university
as well
as rarely find themselves out of their depth.
Moreover
, university life is not intended for those who are not well-prepared. In Vietnam, the drop-out rate a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is shown
to correlate with the lack of ability,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and even preparation for studying at higher levels. Gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
however
,
are instilled
the value of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
that they self-prepare everything such as time managing, critical thinking, and analyst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for the life at university.
Thus
, they
are deserved
with this chance.

On the other hand
, there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is unrealistic and unreasonable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
levels to go to college. Since success cannot
be determined
by age or a personal's intellectual potential, there is no reason to refuse them acquire necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and knowledge for their future career. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
majors requiring both depth-thinking and life experiences, such as psychology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
management, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
might do even better than the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
since they have more experiences with practical situations they
Did you mean simply "mention ."? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about.
An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
degree, is
also
a guarantee for job prospects and career security since recruiters always prioritize on choosing applicants with formal qualifications.
Therefore
, allowing them to attend college and gaining a degree will give them a chance to a brighter future.

To summarize
, although providing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for high marks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
advantageous, I
still
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that providing it for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
and beneficial.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they do not do well at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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