Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The technology development has affected social relationships from person to person. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

The technology development has affected social relationships from person to person. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Todays, the effects of technology advancements on social relationships have been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although the development of technology is not without disadvantages, the merits will justify these. There are some disadvantages there. First, the availability of communication technologies can potentially fracture humans’ concrete relationships. In fact, many people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peer in the real world, which undermines the quality of relationships. Second, by overusing smart devices, people tend to be less confident in daily conversations. For instance, many social network users admit that they prefer sending messages, chatting via messaging apps to having direct meetings, which could weaken their communication skills in the long – term. Under no circumstance should the benefits be marginalized. First, since the proliferation of technology makes social networks flourish, people find it easy to keep in touch. In fact, social media such as Facebook and Skype allows users to connect and have a conservation with each other, which promotes social behaviour and strengthen social relationships without making any physical travels. Second, by actively participating in social media, the users get socialized more than ever. This means that it is easy for them to make friends with the others who match their interests and lifestyle, which helps them expand their circle of friends. In conclusion, the advantage will be far more significant. By balancing the time used for technology, people can take advantage of the technology development without having negative effects on their relationships.
Todays
, the effects of
technology
advancements on
social
relationships
have been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although the development of
technology
is not without disadvantages, the merits will justify these.

There are
some
disadvantages there.
First
, the availability of communication
technologies
can
potentially
fracture humans’ concrete
relationships
. In fact,
many
people
choose to
make
friends online
rather
than mixing with their peer in the real world, which undermines the quality of
relationships
. Second, by overusing smart devices,
people
tend to be less confident in daily conversations.
For instance
,
many
social
network users admit that they prefer sending messages, chatting via messaging apps to having direct meetings, which could weaken their communication
skills
in the long
term.

Under no circumstance should the benefits
be marginalized
.
First
, since the proliferation of
technology
makes
social
networks flourish,
people
find it easy to
keep
in touch. In fact,
social
media such as Facebook and Skype
allows
users to connect and have a conservation with each other, which promotes
social
behaviour
and strengthen
social
relationships
without making any physical travels. Second, by
actively
participating in
social
media, the users
get
socialized more than ever. This means that it is easy for them to
make
friends with the others who match their interests and lifestyle, which
helps
them expand their circle of friends.

In conclusion
, the advantage will be far more significant. By balancing the time
used
for
technology
,
people
can take advantage of the
technology
development without having
negative
effects on their
relationships
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The technology development has affected social relationships from person to person. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts