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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v.3

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 3
It is often argued that the most effective way to earn a better job is to study and complete a university series. Nevertheless, other think that gaining some work experience after schooling helps person in providing a job. In my view, workwork practice along with convocation is considered for a peer who is looking for work. People often think that the completion of graduation will be sufficient for owning a job because the graduation course has some topics that are related to work. However, the course will not completely teach the real time projects and there will be a lack of hands-on practice for the students. As a result, this effect negatively on the peers as they will give a lower performance during their relatives interviews with the firms. For instance university graduates often lack in the skills that are expected by IT companies. I believe that there is need of job experience along convocation as this will develop skills of a student who belong to a particular domain. Yet, the student with professional practice and a graduate certificate would be given more priority than a peer with only a school certificate. Consequently the person with hands on knowledge on the work will enhance their skills and perform well in the interviews with companies. For example, Students with some work training are having the skills that most of the companies expect. In conclusion, a peer with some job experience after the graduate course can get a better job as they acquire skills and practical knowledge that is considered to be possessed by the students.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the most effective way to earn a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is to study and complete a university series.
Nevertheless
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience after schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
person in providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In my view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
workwork
practice along with convocation
is considered
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
who is looking for work.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the completion of graduation will be sufficient for owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the graduation course has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
topics that
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
However
, the course will not completely teach the real time projects and there will be a lack of hands-on practice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
As a result
, this effect
negatively
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
as they will give a lower performance during their relatives interviews with the firms.
For instance
university graduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
by IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

I believe that there
is need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
experience along convocation as this will develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who belong to a particular domain.
Yet
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with professional practice and a graduate certificate would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more priority than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a school certificate.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
the person with hands on knowledge on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and perform well in the interviews with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
training are having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.

In conclusion
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "jobs"?
job
experience after the graduate course can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as they acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and practical knowledge that
is considered
to
be possessed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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