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In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed v.2

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed v. 2
Education plays a very important role in each and individual life does not matter that is boy or girl. It is often arguable that why the girls always attracted towards arts and boys towards science in their career. Hence, I will articulate on the facts that shows why I think so and how this thing will change in the future in impending context followed by relevant epitomes. To commence with this, there is a plethora of reasons that why girls and boys' choices are different then each other. First and foremost, the girl's life is very sophisticated because they faced a lot of care and love in their life and psychologically the tend to be attracted towards sophisticated subjects like arts, which reverse in boys because boys nurtured in a company where they had a lot of fun like watching cartoons and gadgets so that they tend to choose the science side because of attraction towards fiction. To exemplify- 80 percent of science side boys accepted sole fact that they chose science because since they inspired for it from cartoons and curiosity. although, there are ample of facts that prove that how this tendency is changing. Nowadays, boys and girls are getting equal treatment from parents and society so girls are influencing more towards physics and reverse in boys, as a society, removing the discriminate between boys and girls, both are doing well in each field, for instance- today, most of the girls are scientist in physics and any other term which count is greater then boys so it is obvious that this trend will continue and boys and girls will do better. To recapitulate, I would like to state that nowadays there is no difference between boys and girls and boys are touching the sky in every field so it is quite tough tough to say that one is dominating another.
Education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in each and individual life does not matter
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arguable that why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
always attracted towards arts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in their career.
Hence
, I will articulate on the facts that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and how this thing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future in impending context followed by relevant epitomes.

To commence with this, there is a plethora of reasons that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys' choices are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
then
each other.
First
and foremost, the girl's life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sophisticated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
care and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in their life and
psychologically
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'tend' is correct. If 'tend' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the tend
to
be attracted
towards sophisticated subjects like arts, which reverse in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
nurtured in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fun like watching cartoons and gadgets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they tend to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of attraction towards fiction. To exemplify- 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
sole fact that they chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
since they inspired for it from cartoons and curiosity.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
, there are ample of facts that prove that how this tendency is changing. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are getting equal treatment from parents and society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are influencing more towards physics and reverse in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, as a society, removing
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'discriminate' is correct. If 'discriminate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the discriminate
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, both are doing well in each field,
for instance
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are scientist in physics and any other term which count is
Did you mean "greater than"?
greater then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is obvious that this trend will continue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
will do better.

To recapitulate, I would like to state that nowadays there is no difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are touching the sky in every field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is quite
Possible typo: you repeated a word
tough tough
to say that one is dominating another.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e. g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e. g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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