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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. v.13

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. v. 13
The education is the backbone of a country's future, while a good job is a key factor for a better life. This topic is of particular importance because it affects everyone’s life. This essay will discuss whether the pupils should complete their higher education or to start work after school. On the one hand, university education is mandatory to get some type of jobs. By this, I mean that people who choose to become a doctor, pharmacist, engineer, pilot etc. are required to complete their degrees before they can be able to get a job because this type of jobs needs specialised knowledge before starting the career. For illustrations, General Medical Council in the UK accepts only doctors who completed their degree and passed some predefined exams to start a career as a doctor. In this instance, obviously, it would be better to complete the required university level degree first. On the other hand, there are some benefits if students start working early. For example, a fashion designer could start working as soon as s/he finishes school because those types of jobs require more experience than study. Moreover, working at early ages might help students to be more independent and responsible in their life, through learning how to control their spending, how to enhance their knowledge and skill. To conclude, there are some types of jobs that require a university degree. Nevertheless, starting work after school has a good side as well. It depends on the type of jobs which students prefer and are likely to have in the future. Perhaps, university degree and work experience are both important and they each other complete the criteria to get a respectable job.
The education is the backbone of a country's future, while a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a key factor for a better life. This topic is of particular importance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects everyone’s life. This essay will discuss whether the pupils should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their higher education or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
work after school.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education is mandatory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. By this, I mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who choose to become a doctor, pharmacist, engineer, pilot etc.
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they can be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
needs
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting the career. For illustrations, General Medical Council in the UK accepts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doctors who completed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and passed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
predefined exams to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
a career as a doctor. In this instance,
obviously
, it would be better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
first
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits if students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
working early.
For example
, a fashion designer could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
working as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as s/he finishes school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require more experience than study.
Moreover
, working at early ages might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to be more independent and responsible in their life, through learning how to control their spending, how to enhance their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
Nevertheless
, starting work after school has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side
as well
. It depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which students prefer and are likely to have in the future. Perhaps,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and work experience are both
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
they each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
the criteria to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a respectable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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