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Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.9

Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 9
People often believe that brightness and success provide them with advantages and drawbacks as well.   I strongly Support the idea that the positive part outweighs the negative ones. On the one hand, being a film star or a bright sportsman lead people to be well known, loved and have a lot of people attracted to them. They also find themselves to be admired and respected by a numerous group of their societies and sometimes from around the world. For instance, a film star would be successful and be well-paid besides being internationally famous and revered.   Another example is about sports people who are always appreciated for their fulfilment since they lead their team to be well known and win many prizes from different competitive games. On the other hand, celebrities find themselves under the microscope as they are always followed by the press and paparazzi that make them feel insecure and under stress. What’s more, celebrities might get worried about misleading media which sometimes could be harmful to their successful history. A typical example, when wrong news or a misunderstanding for a conversation to the press is published, rumours spread like the wind. Hence, they sometimes would rather stay away from the media in order to keep them secured and not to worry about being bothered by people even though they feel admired by some fans. To sum up, being famous and successful is like a sword having two sharp edges that we cannot escape. However, celebrities should get the most of their position and always consider the disadvantages.
People
often
believe that brightness and success provide them with advantages and drawbacks
as well
.
 
I
strongly
Support the
idea
that the
positive
part outweighs the
negative
ones.

On the one hand, being a film star or a bright sportsman lead
people
to be well known,
loved
and have
a lot of
people
attracted to them. They
also
find themselves to
be admired
and respected by a numerous group of their societies and
sometimes
from around the world.
For instance
, a film star would be successful and be well-paid
besides
being
internationally
famous
and revered.
 
Another example is about sports
people
who are always appreciated for their
fulfilment
since they lead their team to be well known and win
many
prizes from
different
competitive games.

On the other hand
, celebrities find themselves under the microscope as they are always followed by the press and paparazzi that
make
them feel insecure and under
stress
. What’s more, celebrities might
get
worried about misleading media which
sometimes
could be harmful to their successful history. A typical example, when
wrong
news or a misunderstanding for a conversation to the press
is published
,
rumours
spread like the wind.
Hence
, they
sometimes
would
rather
stay away from the media in order to
keep
them secured and not to worry about
being bothered
by
people
even though
they feel admired by
some
fans.

To sum up, being
famous
and successful is like a sword having two sharp edges that we cannot escape.
However
, celebrities should
get
the most of their position and always consider the disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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