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Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.8

Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 8
Almost everything has two sides – positive and negative; being a celebrity is not different. Sometimes it is good and sometimes is not, what makes a difference is the way they deal with it. I am not a celebrity; however, I can see the pros and cons of being one. I believe that famous people suffer a lot because they do not have "peace" in their life. Most of the celebrities do not have a social life, for example, if they go out with friends and family, they are followed by people who want to take pictures of them to sell to magazines and internet blogs.  On the other hand, famous people have a lot of money to spend in what way they want. They always have the best clothes, shoes, bags and also the most expensive stuff. They spend a lot of money travelling to others countries and having fun. Additional to that, a lot of people want to be like of them. I heard that there are some people who even do plastic surgery to seem like their favourite actress or actor. In my opinion, I believe that being a famous person bring more cons than pros. I think everyone deserves a good social life, in another word, going out and having fun without being followed or appearing on the front page of a gossip magazine or a blog. Overall, celebrities like an actress, actor, singer and sports personality, likes to be famous, otherwise, they would not choose this kind of job and occupations. More than that, I believe that they are used with this kind of life.
Almost everything has two sides
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
; being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is not, what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a difference is the way they deal with it.

I am not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
;
however
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the pros and cons of being one. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
peace
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
do not have a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
for example
, if they go out with friends and family, they
are followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to take pictures of them to sell to magazines and internet blogs.  
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money to spend in what way they want. They always have the best clothes, shoes, bags and
also
the most expensive stuff. They spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money travelling to others countries and having fun. Additional to that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be like of them. I heard that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who even do plastic surgery to seem like their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
actress or actor.

In my opinion, I believe that being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
person bring more cons than pros. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone deserves a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in another word, going out and having fun without
being followed
or appearing on the front page of a gossip magazine or a blog.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
like an actress, actor, singer and sports personality, likes to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
,
otherwise
, they would not choose this kind of job and occupations. More than that, I believe that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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