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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v.11

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 11
Nowadays, In the modern life all people seek to have a professional career. While some people think that to have a great job people have to take some university degrees, others believe that working after school graduation is the best way to gain experience. This essay will discuss the both sides followed by a conclusion. To start with, there are several advantages of having a university degree before start working in the field. Firstly, universities are providing the students with the required knowledge to start their professional career. Due to this, students will learn the basic information and techniques for their future career from professional teachers. For example, many companies prefer to hire people with university degree because they have the basic knowledge to start working in some jobs. Secondly, university certification will open plenty of opportunities for students in local or international companies. As the university degree considers a prove document of having the minimum knowledge in the required field such as a doctor or lawyer. On the other hand, experience is important for some jobs that do not require a university degree. As a result, starting work after school graduation will give the people the needed experience to build the professional career. For instance, many people prefer the hand craft jobs such as car maintenance that do not require any university degree. Moreover, working after school graduation provide the people with the practical and hand-on knowledge which is considered as an added value. In conclusion, there are some positive sides of having a university degree before start working such as having the basic knowledge required to start working and opening new opportunities for people. In addition, there are some positive sides of start working after school to gain the practical experience in some fields that do not require university degrees.
Nowadays, In the modern life all
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people
seek to have a
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professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. While
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some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to have a great
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job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduation is the best way to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. This essay will discuss the both sides followed by a conclusion.

To
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start
with, there are several advantages of
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having
a
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university
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degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
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start
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working
in the field.
Firstly
,
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universities
are providing the students with the required
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knowledge
to
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start
their
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professional
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career
. Due to this, students will learn the basic information and techniques for their future
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career
from
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professional
teachers.
For example
,
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prefer to hire
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people
with
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the basic
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knowledge
to
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start
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working
in
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some
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jobs
.
Secondly
,
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university
certification will open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities for students in local or international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. As the
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university
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degree
considers a
The word 'prove' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "proof"?
prove
document of
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having
the minimum
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knowledge
in the required field such as a doctor or lawyer.

On the other hand
,
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experience
is
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important
for
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some
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jobs
that do not require a
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
As a result
, starting work after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduation will give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
prefer the hand craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as car maintenance that do not require any
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
Moreover
,
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working
after
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school
graduation provide the
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people
with the practical and hand-on
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knowledge
which
is considered
as an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
value.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
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having
a
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
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start
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working
such as
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having
the basic
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knowledge
required to
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start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and opening new opportunities for
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people
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of
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start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to gain the practical
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experience
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields that do not require
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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