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Some people believe that it is better for the people to live in cities where the conditions for living are better and far more comfortable. Others, however, feel that living in villages is better. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people believe that it is better for the people to live in cities where the conditions for living are better and far more comfortable. Others, however, feel that living in villages is better. v. 4
People have different views about whether some people believe that cities have a higher standard, while, other people think that living rural regions are better. In my opinion, I agree the first statement that living in cities are more convenience. On the one hand, living in cities brings a lot of benefit due to many reasons. Firstly, city life help people to find better opportunities in career. Furthermore, the big towns are economic growth centre; therefore, it attracts a large number of migrants. For instance, almost young people tend to live and work in urban after graduation because they can look for good jobs. Secondly, the city is one of the most available of all facilities. To illustrate, the cities have many college and university for high-quality education, excellence hospital systems for health treatments, and shopping centres to accommodate demand for purchasing. On the other hand, rural areas are also some advantages because of several causes. To begin with, the village life is beneficial for health. Obviously, rural regions are not less influenced by a vast amount of exhaust from means of transport, factories; thus, villagers can breathe fresh air. Finally, living in the countryside is pretty peacefulness; consequently, it is suitable to people can enjoy after period busy working. For example, in order to make use of clear air that the resort sections now often are built in the countryside, and this creates visitors feel relaxed with the rest. In conclusion, many people agree that living in the cities are better because having a great deal of chance to develop careers, and convenience to purchase; while, other people like to live in villages due to less pollution and having space to rest. In my opinion, living in a city is more interesting than rural life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a higher standard, while, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
regions are better. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the
first
statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more convenience.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefit due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, city life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find better opportunities in career.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
towns are economic growth
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
;
therefore
, it attracts
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
migrants.
For instance
, almost young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in urban after graduation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can look for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs.
Secondly
, the city is one of the most available of all facilities. To illustrate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have
Possible agreement error. The noun college seems to be countable; consider using: "many colleges".
many college
and university for high-quality education, excellence hospital systems for health treatments, and shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to accommodate demand for purchasing.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several causes. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the village life is beneficial for health.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
regions are not less influenced by a vast amount of exhaust from means of transport, factories;
thus
, villagers can breathe fresh air.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside is pretty peacefulness;
consequently
, it is suitable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy after period busy working.
For example
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
air that the resort sections
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
are built
in the countryside, and this creates visitors feel relaxed with the rest.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having a great deal of chance to develop careers, and convenience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
; while, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in villages due to less pollution and having space to rest. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a city is more interesting than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better for the people to live in cities where the conditions for living are better and far more comfortable. Others, however, feel that living in villages is better. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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