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Some people believe that international tourism has brought enormous benefit to some places. Others argue that there is concern about its negative impact on local inhabitants and environment. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that international tourism has brought enormous benefit to some places. Others argue that there is concern about its negative impact on local inhabitants and environment. v. 1
There has been a difference of opinion regarding the topic that certain individuals argue that universal tour has negative influence on the local environment and inhabitants. However, others, myself include, opine that international travel has brought an overwhelming majority of benefits to several places. On the one hand, I understand why some people endorse the opinion that international travel has a number of demerits. The proponents of idea provide a variety of points to support their standpoint. First and foremost, international travel can cause environmental destruction, which means that it deteriorate the environment through depletion of natural sources. Another convincing argument is that international journey may also damage to near-extinct flora and fauna, as a result of which the local habitat of wild animals may be destroyed. Consequently, tourism can damage the community of living organisms such as animals, plants, microorganisms, living in conjunction and balance. On the other hand, I would side with those who argue that international tour might has brought a vast majority of benefit to a great number of places. The primary reason why I think that worldwide excursion has some benefits is because international journey might be foster business cooperation among countries. To be more specific, different countries may work together, owing to which countries can get benefit from this relationship and be encouraged regional development. Moreover, international tourism can contribute to the sustainable development of infrastructures, namely the continuous arrival of tourists induces governments regularly take care of the amenities. By way of conclusion, even though there are a huge number of justifications for the former statement, I am of the opinion that international tourism has brought a majority of merits in order to increase relationship among different countries and expand the budget. I recommend that international excursion should be increased by government.
There has been a difference of opinion regarding the topic that certain individuals argue that universal tour has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the local environment and inhabitants.
However
, others, myself include, opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel has brought an overwhelming majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to several places.

On the one hand, I understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
endorse the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel has a number of demerits. The proponents of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
provide a variety of points to support their standpoint.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel can cause environmental destruction, which means that it deteriorate the environment through depletion of natural sources. Another convincing argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
journey may
also
damage to near-extinct flora and fauna,
as a result
of which the local habitat of wild animals may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
Consequently
, tourism can damage the community of living organisms such as animals, plants, microorganisms, living in conjunction and balance.

On the other hand
, I would side with those who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tour might has brought a vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
to a great number of places. The primary reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that worldwide excursion has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
journey might be foster business cooperation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. To be more specific,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may work together, owing to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from this relationship and
be encouraged
regional development.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism can contribute to the sustainable development of infrastructures,
namely
the continuous arrival of tourists induces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
regularly
take care of the amenities.

By way of conclusion,
even though
there are a huge number of justifications for the former statement, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
tourism has brought a majority of merits in order to increase relationship among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and expand the budget. I recommend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
excursion should
be increased
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that international tourism has brought enormous benefit to some places. Others argue that there is concern about its negative impact on local inhabitants and environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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