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Many people say that movies and TV programs affect us negatively while others say that they are too influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us? v.1

Many people say that movies and TV programs affect us negatively while others say that they are too influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us? v. 1
It is argued that there are myriad adverse impacts of films and television shows. However, others believe that they are inspirational and fruitful in their own way. And, I totally agree. Thus, this essay will elaborate about it's affects in detail. To commence with, movies as well as TV programmes have quite positive effects which are useful for us. To illustrate, through TV, people can possess knowledge on current affairs, which are renowned worldwide, by watching news channels. Apart from this, through the help of movies persons can know about the life-stories of diverse influential folks, as in, biopics of illustrious personalities like Chaplin, Gandhi, Mary Kom and many more. So, many people, especially youth, can get their true inspiration from them in a good way. Also, on the flip side, miscellaneous shows of the idiot box and films contain their negative side effects. For instance, there are some programs that are serials, series, reality shows such as The X-Factor, Australia's Got Talent and so on. Such programs affect masses badly because they are, sometimes, too addictive, therefore, they waste a plenty of precious time of folks. In addition, there are many pictures that are lusty and crime centric, as in, 'Sex' movie of Medonna, etc. ; which affect individuals quite unfavourably. That is why, these shows and movies may raise the crime rates and can lure human beings in a fully disadvantageous way. To sum up, I would like to conclude that watching TV and pictures contains both genuine, for example, recent updates as well as grea inspiration and evil impacts like lustiness and criminal mindedness. Nevertheless, gracious ones outweighs the dismal ones.
It
is argued
that there are myriad adverse impacts of films and television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
However
, others believe that they are inspirational and fruitful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. And, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Thus
, this essay will elaborate
Did you mean "about its affects"?
about it's affects
in detail.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as well
as TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
have quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects which are useful for us. To illustrate, through TV,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can possess knowledge on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs, which
are renowned
worldwide, by watching news channels. Apart from this, through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
persons can know about the life-stories of diverse influential folks, as in, biopics of illustrious personalities like Chaplin, Gandhi, Mary
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kom
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
youth, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their true inspiration from them in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.

Also
, on the flip side, miscellaneous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
of the idiot box and films contain their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side effects.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs that are serials, series, reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
such as The X-Factor, Australia's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Got
Talent and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Such programs affect masses
badly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, too addictive,
therefore
, they waste a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of precious time of folks.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pictures that are lusty and crime centric, as in, 'Sex'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Medonna
, etc. ; which affect individuals quite
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfavourably
.
That is
why, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
may raise the crime rates and can lure human beings in a
fully
disadvantageous way.

To sum up, I would like
to conclude
that watching TV and pictures contains both genuine,
for example
, recent updates
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
Possible spelling mistake found.
grea
inspiration and evil impacts like lustiness and criminal mindedness.
Nevertheless
, gracious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
outweighs the dismal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many people say that movies and TV programs affect us negatively while others say that they are too influential and useful media for us. How do movies and TV affect us? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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