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How harmful impact of violence in computer games, tv, movies and other activities on children. How harmful is the violence for the children. How do you solve the problem v.1

How harmful impact of violence in computer games, tv, movies and other activities on children. How harmful is the violence for the children. How do you solve the problem v. 1
Online games, TV, movies are a source of entertainment to children nowadays, and life without it will be boring because it complements learning from school. However, there has been a series of terrifying complaints around the violence associated with the aforementioned. There was a time when online games were strictly about are arranging bricks in the likes of Tetries, while some of the tv series and movies for children were just animals chasing each other. At some point, the narrative changed and video games had more depth in it. Developers began to games around suicide, murder, and betrayal, and video games shifted from child’s play into something that children needed protection from. In recent times, there has been a high rate of violence amongst children associated with digital and online activities, as kids, minors are very inquisitive and curious about what they constantly see others doing. Consistently, children have been inflicting injuries on themselves and committing suicide through a series of games that has engineered by game developers. In 2018, a particular game was trending amongst children called BlueWhale; the game was known due to its harmful nature. The game asks minors and teens to cut themselves with a knife, failure to adhere to such instruction some personal information about the child will be shared online. Over time, children continued to inflict lots of injuries and some were at the verge of committing suicide. Some of the games, even asks minors to share their bare chest online to have access to some certain features of the game. To solve the issue at hand, firstly, parent has to take some precaution methods by enabling privacy settings on their television screen. Most parents aren't aware of channels their children get to watch. Secondly, guardians are also reports with digital channels or online gaming sites that have violent movies and also before downloading the app children should read the Terms and condition. This will help curtail some of these issues for children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, TV, movies are a source of entertainment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays, and life without it will be boring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it complements learning from school.
However
, there has been a series of terrifying complaints around the violence associated with the aforementioned. There was a time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were
strictly
about are arranging bricks in the likes of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tetries
, while
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
series and movies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
animals chasing each other. At
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point, the narrative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had more depth in it. Developers began to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
around suicide, murder, and betrayal, and video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
shifted from child’s play into something that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
needed protection from.

In recent times, there has been a high rate of violence amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
associated with digital and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
activities, as kids, minors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
inquisitive and curious about what they
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
others doing.
Consistently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been inflicting injuries on themselves and committing suicide through a series of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that has engineered by game developers. In 2018, a particular game was trending amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
BlueWhale
; the game
was known
due to its harmful nature. The game asks minors and teens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
themselves with a knife, failure to adhere to such instruction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal information about the child will
be shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Over time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
continued to inflict lots of injuries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
were at the verge of committing suicide.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, even asks minors to share their bare chest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to have access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain features of the game.

To solve the issue at hand,
firstly
, parent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precaution methods by enabling privacy settings on their television screen. Most parents aren't aware of channels their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

Secondly
, guardians are
also
reports with digital channels or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gaming sites that have violent movies and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
downloading the app
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should read the Terms and condition.

This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
curtail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these issues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay How harmful impact of violence in computer games, tv, movies and other activities on children. How harmful is the violence for the children. How do you solve the problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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