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Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants and canteens. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants and canteens. v. 1
With increase in population and growth in generations everyone is busy with their day to day activities and they get enough time to prepare their food so they tend to eat out. But, the majority of peoples believe home cooking share quality time with family at home is more better. So in this, we will discuss both sides of it and will prove with the big picture. To start with, on the one hand, with growing generation, they are quite busy with their lives and they don't spend enough time at home and with their family's. Due to this, they tend to eat outside, and where they eat unhealthy food such as fast food which affects their bodies. Not only that it also affects the relations between family and make them distance from each other. On the other hand, Peoples who cook and eat with their families at home they are healthier and are more energetic in their day-to-day activity. They eat more fresh cooked meal and they spend more time with their family, which bring them closer to each other and make their understanding more best. For example, people who eat outside, they tend to spend more on food which have less quantity and not good for their health. For more specific, eat at Kfc or burger king, etc. They charge a lot of money with which same amount of money if spend and cooked healthy food at home you can have more quantity as well as more fresh. In conclusion, in my opinion, with generation growth and more busy with their life peoples tend to find an easy way, but which also affect their health, so one should not be so careless about their health and I strongly agree with the people who think cooking and eat at home is better which also keep them healthy.
With increase in population and growth in generations everyone is busy with their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
believe home cooking share quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at home is
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in this, we will discuss both sides of it and will prove with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, on the one hand, with growing generation, they are quite busy with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home and with their family's. Due to this, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
outside, and where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which affects their bodies. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that it
also
affects the relations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them distance from each other.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peoples
who cook and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
at home they are healthier and are more energetic in their day-to-day activity. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
more fresh cooked
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
meal and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which bring them closer to each other and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their understanding more best.

For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
outside, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which have less quantity and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their health. For more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kfc
or
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
burger king
, etc. They charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money with which same amount of money if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
and cooked healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home you can have more quantity
as well
as more fresh.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, with generation growth and more busy with their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to find an easy way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
which
also
affect their health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
careless about their health and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
at home is better which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them healthy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants and canteens. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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