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Many people say schools adopt theoretical approach of learning rather than practicals in schools from primary to University level v.1

Many people say schools adopt theoretical approach of learning rather than practicals in schools from primary to University level v. 1
During the last decades, environmental degradation has been recognized as a principal challenge. Although, some individuals think it is the government’s responsibility to protect and revamp the environment, it is a personal responsibility for each person in the others view. I, however, believe that with contributing between the government and people the environmental degradation can be reduced. On the one hand, the principle responsibility as a cure-all for protecting the environment should be planned by the government. Defining restriction for farmers using chemical fertilizers and pesticides which is very hard on the environment and also can lead to soil erosion, and likewise, controlling industries to use environmental-friendly equipment that can reduce waste and minimize pollution, can be recognized as sustained solutions by the government. For instance, replacing fossil fuel with renewable energy sources such as solar energy can result in reducing greenhouse gas, which is one of the most threatening factors in degrading the environment. On the other hand, however, people can play a significant role in preventing the environment degradation by optimal using of energy. Optimal uses and respecting the environment should be educated to people, especially the new generation by environmentalist in the frame of workshop or educational clips. As an example, Improving the public knowledge about endangered species and defining effective issues in reducing deforestation and desertification by academics and teachers in the universities or schools and also the way of separating any leftover materials that make the recycling process more easy, can be environmentally-friendly helps from people. To sum up, preventing environmental degradation is not an issue which solves by just the government or people. In my opinion, I totally believe, a strong collaboration between the government and people is needed to take care of the environment.
During the last decades, environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
has
been recognized
as a principal challenge. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
responsibility to protect and revamp the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, it is a personal responsibility for each person in the others view. I,
however
, believe that with contributing between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

On the one hand, the principle responsibility as a cure-all for protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
be planned
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Defining restriction for farmers using chemical fertilizers and pesticides which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
also
can lead to soil erosion, and
likewise
, controlling industries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
environmental-friendly equipment that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
waste and minimize pollution, can
be recognized
as sustained solutions by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For instance
, replacing fossil fuel with renewable energy sources such as solar energy can result in reducing greenhouse gas, which is one of the most threatening factors in degrading the environment.

On the other hand
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can play a significant role in preventing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
by optimal using of energy. Optimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
and respecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
be educated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the new generation by environmentalist in the frame of workshop or educational clips. As an example, Improving the public knowledge about endangered species and defining effective issues in reducing deforestation and desertification by academics and teachers in the universities or schools and
also
the way of separating any leftover materials that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the recycling process more easy, can be
environmentally
-friendly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, preventing environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degradation
is not an issue which solves by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I
totally
believe, a strong collaboration between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
needed to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say schools adopt theoretical approach of learning rather than practicals in schools from primary to University level v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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