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Many people nowadays work from home and this has been possible mainly because of the advancement of computer and internet technology. v.3

Many people nowadays work from home and this has been possible mainly because of the advancement of computer and internet technology. v. 3
An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. What are the effects on employees of working from home? In today’s modern world, the computer technology is being developed at a fast pace which opens up an avenue for people to work at their own homes and communicate with employers and other employees via video conferences. Thus, it is important for us to establish the possible impacts on the employees who work at home. There are several advantages of working at home instead of working in an office. To begin, the employees will have more flexible times to decide when to start working. For example, they can choose their working time which starts from 9. 30am to 6pm, or they can also choose to extend their working time with some breaks in between. In fact, it should be made more common by providing people around the globe for working at home as the employees do not need to commute to work every day which normally takes a long time to reach their workplace from their home. The time they spend on commuting is more valuable if the employees can use it on working. Undoubtedly, it will not cause any harm to the company, but help to increase the work efficiency. The next benefit of it is that housewives can get an opportunity to work even though they have to stay at home all day long. Most women tend to sacrifice to quit their current job after they get married as they believe that they need to stay at home to manage all the households well in order to be a responsible housewife. Thus, it is apparent that if most of the company provide jobs to work at home, the housewives will be able to continue to contribute to the society and earn more money to support their family financially. According to the statistic of a recent research conducted in Malaysia, it has shown that more than half of the married women wish to work at home owing to the fact that they can take care of their children and work simultaneously. Therefore, it has clearly shown that working at home provide the housewives with an opportunity to contribute to the society. Nevertheless, there is always another side of a coin. It is believed that working at home rather than in the workplace will eventually weaken the ability of an employee to socialise. If the employees were to work at home, they will probably have not much time to interact with others as they focus solely on their works. Even though some people might say that they utilise the convenience of the internet to socialise with others through the social media like Facebook and Twitter, it is proven, however, proven that the way people socialise online is totally different from interacting face-to-face. As a result, it may cause the people these days who work at home without interacting with others face-to-face to develop relationship crisis as they are not equipped with the crucial interpersonal skills. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative impacts of working at home on the employees it is, however, believed that every employee can contribute endlessly to our nation regardless of where they work and our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the years to come.
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology.

What are the effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home?

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, the computer technology is
being developed
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace which opens up an avenue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and communicate with employers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
via video conferences.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to establish the possible impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home.

There are several advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in an office. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will have more flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to decide when to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
For example
, they can choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from 9. 30am to 6pm, or they can
also
choose to extend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
breaks in between. In fact, it should
be made
more common by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not need to commute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every day which
normally
takes a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach their workplace from their home. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on commuting is more valuable if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
Undoubtedly
, it will not cause any harm to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiency.

The
next
benefit of it is that housewives can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even though
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home all day long. Most women tend to sacrifice to quit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married as they believe that they need to stay at home to manage all the households well in order to be a responsible housewife.
Thus
, it is apparent that if most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
provide jobs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home, the housewives will be able to continue to contribute to the society and earn more money to support their family
financially
. According to the statistic of a recent research conducted in Malaysia, it has shown that more than half of the married women wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home owing to the fact that they can take care of their children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
simultaneously
.
Therefore
, it has
clearly
shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home provide the housewives with an opportunity to contribute to the society.

Nevertheless
, there is always another side of a coin. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home
rather
than in the workplace will
eventually
weaken the ability of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
were to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home, they will
probably
have not much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to interact with others as they focus
solely
on their works.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might say that they
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the convenience of the internet to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with others through the social media like Facebook and Twitter, it
is proven
,
however
, proven that the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
online is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from interacting face-to-face.
As a result
, it may cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home without interacting with others face-to-face to develop relationship crisis as they are not equipped with the crucial interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
it is,
however
, believed that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can contribute
endlessly
to our nation regardless of where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and our nation will continue to prosper and flourish in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people nowadays work from home and this has been possible mainly because of the advancement of computer and internet technology. v. 3

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
563 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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