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Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? v.3

Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? v. 3
A group of people believe that the existence of organizations or groups is an essential part of their lives. There various reasons why organizations are important for several people and the following essay will discuss in details regarding the statement. To begin with, it is true that people have different professions. Some people decide to be an entrepreneur, while others prefer to work in an institution or an organization. As for those who choose to be a professional worker, the existence of corporations or companies is an essential part of their lives. They are relying on their employer for the income, benefit and facilities, and they also believe that their workplace is the place where they could develop their skill and talent. Besides that, the workplace can also be used as the place for interaction, communication and socialization as well. From the humanity's point of view, many people believe that the existence of a non-profit organization is important. There are various kinds of non-profit foundations and institutions such as World Health Organization, World Wide Fund, Salvation Army or UNICEF. These organizations are helping mankind who live in poverty, threats of war or those who are facing natural disasters such as tsunami or earthquake. And the existence of these organizations has saved tens of millions of people all over the world, as they supply food, clothing and medical supplies. It is obvious that their existences are vital for the struggle and survival of some people. In conclusion, it is believed that organizations or groups play an important part for some people's live. Some people who become professional workers think that the existence of their company is crucial for them, as they are financially dependent on their company. While from the social perspective, it can be seen that many people who live in poor condition or suffer from wars still depend on non-profit organizations.
A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
or groups is an essential part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. There various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the following essay will discuss in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
regarding the statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to be an entrepreneur, while others prefer to work in an institution or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
. As for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to be a professional worker, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of corporations or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is an essential part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. They are relying on their employer for the income, benefit and facilities, and they
also
believe that their workplace is the place where they could develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and talent.
Besides
that, the workplace can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as the place for interaction, communication and socialization
as well
.

From the humanity's point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of a non-profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. There are various kinds of non-profit foundations and institutions such as World Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Organization
,
Did you mean "worldwide"?
World Wide
Fund, Salvation Army or UNICEF. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are helping mankind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in poverty, threats of war or those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are facing natural disasters such as tsunami or earthquake. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
has saved tens of millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world, as they supply food, clothing and medical supplies. It is obvious that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existences
are vital for the struggle and survival of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
or groups play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
become professional workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is crucial for them, as they are
financially
dependent on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. While from the social perspective, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in poor condition or suffer from wars
still
depend on non-profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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