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Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. v. 1
Experimentation and innovation with several threats involved give a victorious edge to people over those who do things that they know well. Innovative ideas leads to discovery which amaze the people like never before. Furthermore, new inventions helps in medical and scientific growth. In my opinion, innovation is far more advantageous than doing repeated work which is already done before. To begin with, great discoveries are result of some out of the box thinking by an individual or a group of individuals. Such inventions by the great scientists has created joyful and wonderful environment for the users. The people behind such miracles spend their whole life to grab that one innovative idea which can change life of billions of people. For example, the discovery of telephone by Sir Graham Bell proved a miraculous invention for every person on the planet earth. Such unbelievable work can only be attained if a person thinks out of the box. Also, such accomplishments makes a person glorious among the whole world. Next, wise people do experiments in medical and scientific research to find out procedures and medications that can empower the medical facilities. Some diseases are still out of the bound to be cured. While such problems cannot be alleviated by the use of regular medical practices, further research and development is required to be carried out by specialized doctors and scientists. For example, scientists of Harvard Medical College are experimenting new ways to find standard cure medicine for AIDS. Successful medical research alongwith innovative medical procedure can help attain successful cure for such incurable diseases. To conclude, enthusiats who have taken risks have been able to attain victorious results. Such efforts have mde life of the other people enjoyable alongwith securing their life with extensive medical facilities.
Experimentation and innovation with several threats involved give a victorious edge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over those who do things that they know well. Innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
leads to discovery which amaze the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, new inventions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and scientific growth. In my opinion, innovation is far more advantageous than doing repeated work which is already done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, great discoveries are result of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
out of the box thinking by an individual or a group of individuals. Such inventions by the great scientists has created joyful and wonderful environment for the users. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behind such miracles spend their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to grab that one innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the discovery of telephone by Sir Graham Bell proved a miraculous invention for every person on the planet earth. Such unbelievable work can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be attained
if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
out of the box.
Also
, such accomplishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person glorious among the whole world.

Next
, wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do experiments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and scientific research to find out procedures and medications that can empower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
diseases are
still
out of the bound to
be cured
. While such problems cannot
be alleviated
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
practices,
further
research and development
is required
to
be carried
out by specialized doctors and scientists.
For example
, scientists of Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
College are experimenting new ways to find standard cure medicine for AIDS. Successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
research
Possible spelling mistake found.
alongwith
innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
procedure can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
attain successful cure for such incurable diseases.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthusiats
who have taken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
have been able to attain victorious results. Such efforts have
Possible spelling mistake found.
mde
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoyable
Possible spelling mistake found.
alongwith
securing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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