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In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
In the recent era, it has been observed that in numerous places worldwide, people lifestyle is constantly changing and therefore, causing adversity in family relationships. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of this changing living standards Firstly, a myriad of people across the globe wants to have a better standard of living and want to achieve everything in a short span of time. Therefore, working extended hours in their office to provide better education facilities for their kids and saving funds for their old age and spend very less time with their family members which results in relationship breakup. For instance, in a recent survey, it is observed that there has been a sharp increase in the number of divorce cases because of the less quality time spent together by the couples. Secondly, nowadays, numerous people migrate to other countries for the sake of better living and quality education to their adolescents, thus get separated from their extended family and even their kids born in other nations don't get a chance to get connected to their ancestral roots and thus loosing their cultural values and sometimes develop a feeling of isolation. To illustrate, in a recent survey in the US, it has been found that a majority of juveniles suffering from depression are those who are grown up in nuclear families. On the other hand, there are many advantages associated with the lifestyle changes. Firstly, You can provide them the quality education and better living standards. Then, you get a chance to learn about different cultures and their values and develop more intellectual skills and broadens your horizon. . To conclude, in my point of view disadvantages completely outweighs the advantages.
In the recent era, it has
been observed
that in numerous places worldwide,
people
lifestyle is
constantly
changing and
therefore
, causing adversity in family relationships. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of this changing
living
standards


Firstly
, a myriad of
people
across the globe wants to have a
better
standard of
living
and want to achieve everything in a short span of time.
Therefore
, working extended hours in their office to provide
better
education facilities for their kids and saving funds for their
old
age and spend
very
less time with their family members which results in relationship breakup.
For instance
, in a recent survey, it
is observed
that there has been a sharp increase in the number of divorce cases
because
of the less quality time spent together by the couples.

Secondly
, nowadays, numerous
people
migrate to other countries for the sake of
better
living
and quality education to their adolescents,
thus
get
separated from their extended family and even their kids born in other nations don't
get
a chance to
get
connected to their ancestral roots and
thus
loosing their cultural values and
sometimes
develop a feeling of isolation. To illustrate, in a recent survey in the US, it has
been found
that a majority of juveniles suffering from depression are those who
are grown
up in nuclear families.

On the other hand
, there are
many
advantages associated with the lifestyle
changes
.
Firstly
, You can provide them the quality education and
better
living
standards. Then, you
get
a chance to learn about
different
cultures and their values and develop more intellectual
skills
and broadens your horizon.
.


To conclude
, in my point of view disadvantages completely outweighs the advantages.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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