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Many people join distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does.

Many people join distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 1
It kinds of controversial. Especially under the corona circumstance. Many University proceeded class remotely from last year. There are cons and pros about distance-learning. We had no choice to have class last year because of weird situation. I would agree that it is better to have distance learning instead of studying in university however I would recommend to have class person to person. There are several reason why we have to have class person to person. First of all, There is not many affection of distance learning compare to go to university. and it acquires many patient to focus on class while having remote class. People normally get lazy when they are staying at home. Sometimes we just want to lying in the bed constantly and just chilling. It kinds of harder to have class at home. Also there is no social communication therefore it’s make us low motivative. everyone needs socializing in terms of motivation. On the other hands. Distance- learning has benefit as well. There is no needed place to have a tutor. We don’t need to spend time to go to university and it only need to woke up and open the lap-top. therefore it saving the money and time. Also many people will be able go to university regardless of distance. It will be helpful for many people globally. And focus on what you want to learn without problem of cost and time. University also will be able to saving money to build their building. In conclusion, It’s may helpful for several people who has problems of cost and time. If we have only distance-learning programmes. It won’t be necessary to go to university. The quality of class will decreased. There is not many motivation and socializing whilst going to university. And everyone gives not many effort to the class. Many people meet the person who can help our career in the university. So we should have offline class instead of online class.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'It'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
It kinds
of controversial.
Especially
under the corona circumstance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
proceeded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
remotely
from last year. There are cons and pros about distance-learning. We had no choice to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
last year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of weird situation. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is better to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
learning
instead
of studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
however
I would
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend having".
recommend to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to person.

There are several reason why we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, There is not
Possible agreement error. The noun affection seems to be countable; consider using: "many affections".
many affection
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
learning compare to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it acquires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patient to focus on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
while having remote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lazy when they are staying at home.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
Did you mean "lie"?
lying
in the bed
constantly
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
chilling.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'It'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
It kinds
of harder to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
at home.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there is no social communication
therefore
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us low
Possible spelling mistake found.
motivative
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
everyone
needs
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "socializes", "socialized".
socializing
in terms of motivation.

On the other hands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Distance-
learning has benefit
as well
. There is no needed place to have a tutor. We don’t need to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "needs"?
need
to woke up and open the lap-top.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
Did you mean "it's saving", "it is saving", or "it was saving"?
it saving
the money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'go'.
able go
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
. It will be helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
globally. And focus on what you want to learn without problem of cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
also
will be able to saving money to build their building.

In conclusion
, It’s may helpful for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
problems of cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
distance-learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. It won’t be necessary to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "decrease"
decreased
. There is not
Possible agreement error. The noun motivation seems to be countable; consider using: "many motivations".
many motivation
and socializing whilst going to university.

And everyone gives not
Possible agreement error. The noun effort seems to be countable; consider using: "many efforts".
many effort
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our career in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should have offline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
instead
of online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
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Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many people join distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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