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Erik Erikson In 1956, German psychologist Erikson used the term “identity crisis, ” as being an important conflict human beings face in life. Erikson describes the identity crisis as first happening during ages 13 to 19. Overcoming the crisis in those v.1

Erik Erikson In 1956, German psychologist Erikson used the term “identity crisis, ” as being an important conflict human beings face in life. Erikson describes the identity crisis as first happening during ages 13 to 19. Overcoming the crisis in those v. 1
Families – the building block of any societies – are coming under an unprecedented attack on all fronts. The modern, hectic lifestyle common in cities, where more than half of the entire human population dwells, is increasingly asking for greater work commitment than ever before. As a result, urban dwellers feel increasingly pressed for time – and when forced to make a choice, many of them have chosen work over family. This preference has undermined the foundation of families all around the world, and brought about serious social consequences that are haunting many developed nations in the world. The frantic and busy lifestyle, the telltale sign of a post-industrial society, is responsible for this development. Wage workers, whose schedule is from nine to five, whose employers are fastidious about punctuality, and whose residences may be hours away from work, find themselves sinking most of their waking time working and travelling to work. At work-obsessed cultures such as that of Japan, employees readily show commitment and dedication to their company by willingly working overtime without overtime pay in order to have the slightest chance at promotion. Needless to say, these people would not find enough quality time to spend with their family. One ought not to look further than Japan, once heralded as an economic miracle of the 20th century, to see what debilitating effects the deterioration of families could have on society at large. Japanese parents, especially the father, who may have to work long shifts at the office, may go on for days without seeing their children’s faces. The family bond is thus weakened significantly, and, as a result, people no longer value families as much as they used to. Birthrate in Japan is among the lowest in the world. Coupled with better health care, and with it, longer lifespan, Japan has the fasting aging population in the world. Lonely deaths, the phenomenon in which geriatrics live and die by themselves, without any noticing for months on end, has become terrifyingly common in Japan. All of these and more could become a reality for any nations, should they choose to neglect one of the most grievous side effects of modernization: The erosion of the family unit. In summary, the erosion of the family has been underway for quite some time now, and it has already taken its toll on many societies, of which Japan is an egregious example. We need to act now to restore the once strong and inseparable bond between family members, lest a Brave New World dystopia suddenly seem far-fetched no longer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the building block of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
are coming under an unprecedented attack on all fronts. The modern, hectic lifestyle common in cities, where more than half of the entire human population dwells, is
increasingly
asking for greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
commitment than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
As a result
, urban dwellers feel
increasingly
pressed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
and when forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This preference has undermined the foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, and brought about serious social consequences that are haunting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed nations in the world.

The frantic and busy lifestyle, the telltale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of a post-industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, is responsible for this development. Wage workers, whose schedule is from nine to five, whose employers are fastidious about punctuality, and whose residences may be hours away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, find themselves sinking most of their waking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working and travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. At work-obsessed cultures such as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, employees
readily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
commitment and dedication to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
by
willingly
working overtime without overtime pay in order to have the slightest chance at promotion. Needless to say, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their family.

One ought not to look
further
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, once heralded as an economic miracle of the 20th century, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what debilitating effects the deterioration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
could have on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
at large. Japanese parents,
especially
the father, who may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long shifts at the office, may go on for days without seeing their children’s faces. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond is
thus
weakened
significantly
, and,
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
no longer value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as much as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to. Birthrate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is among the lowest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Coupled with better health care, and with it, longer lifespan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
has the fasting aging population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Lonely deaths, the phenomenon in which geriatrics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
by themselves, without any noticing for months on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, has become
terrifyingly
common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. All of these and more could become a reality for any nations, should they choose to neglect one of the most grievous side effects of modernization: The erosion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unit.

In summary, the erosion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has been underway for quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and it has already taken its toll on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
, of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
is an egregious example. We need to act
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to restore the once strong and inseparable bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, lest a Brave New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
dystopia
suddenly
seem far-fetched no longer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Erik Erikson In 1956, German psychologist Erikson used the term “identity crisis, ” as being an important conflict human beings face in life. Erikson describes the identity crisis as first happening during ages 13 to 19. Overcoming the crisis in those v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
426 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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