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Do you agree or disagree with the following paragraphs? Movies and television have a more negative effect than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.4

Movies and television have a more negative effect than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4
In this modern era, technology is being developed at a galloping rate. Movies and television are facilities which most young people use them to spend their leisure time. It is a controversial argument between experts and parents whether these objects have a positive impact on youth or not. In my opinion, the effect of equipment like television is positive rather than negative. In the following paragraphs, I will explore into the most conspicuous reason and examples justifying my point of view. To begin with, the director of movies or television programs has to make a program based on a specific curriculum, which means they have to consider details that are included in the program that are regulated with youths or not. This strict law is organized for directors to prevent a bad influence on young people in society. Furthermore, directors can determine a specific age for watching their programs. For example, in my country, there is an organization that has rigid rules for movies that are going to show in cinemas. They conceive all aspects to hamper from any disturbance for youths in community because they are more vulnerable to many problems that can make for them. As a result, most movies are under the control, strictly to reduce the negative effects of these facilities on young people, although there are many different ways in countries to curb this important issue. My second noteworthy reason is that youths are using equipment mostly in their break time, which means they look to these objects like entertainment to spend their leisure time happily. A program on television can have a strong effect on youth if they put all their focus on that special program, but most young people unlikely not like this manner. Moreover, if they imitate those specific actions in their real life, we can contemplate that the program has a negative consequence on youths. My own example is a compelling example of this. I saw a horror movie at the weekend, which was not appropriate for my age, but I watched it just to enjoy my time, and release my energy with that movie. It did not any good or bad effect on me, because I did not concentrate on it, too much. To sum up, movies and television can have a negative and positive impact on youths in which the positive effects are more than negative. This is because there is much organization that their duties are to watch programs and eliminate some parts of it that are not proper for everyone, and most youths watch television to spend their time happily.
In this modern era, technology is
being developed
at a galloping rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are facilities which most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is a controversial argument between experts and parents whether these objects have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
or not. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of equipment like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
. In the following paragraphs, I will explore into the most conspicuous reason and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
justifying my point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the director of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
based on a specific curriculum, which means they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
that
are included
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
that
are regulated
with youths or not. This strict law
is organized
for directors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society.
Furthermore
, directors can determine a specific age for watching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, in my country, there is an organization that has rigid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in cinemas. They conceive all aspects to hamper from any disturbance for youths in community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more vulnerable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
for them.
As a result
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are under the control,
strictly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects of these facilities on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways in countries to curb this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue.

My second noteworthy reason is that youths are using equipment
mostly
in their break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which means they look to these objects like entertainment to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
happily
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can have a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
if they put all their focus on that special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unlikely not like this manner.
Moreover
, if they imitate those specific actions in their real life, we can contemplate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
consequence on youths. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
is a compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
of this. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a horror
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at the weekend, which was not appropriate for my age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to enjoy my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and release my energy with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. It did not any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I did not concentrate on it, too much.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on youths in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects are more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is much organization that their duties are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and eliminate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of it that are not proper for everyone, and most youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
happily
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Movies and television have a more negative effect than positive effects on the way young people behave. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
433 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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