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Many people have a close relationship with their pets These people treat their birds cats or other animals like members of their family In your opinion are such relationships good Why or why not Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans v.2

Many people have a close relationship with their pets These people treat their birds cats or other animals like members of their family In your opinion are such relationships good Why or why not Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans v. 2
Humans and animals have maintained a healthy relationship since the evolution of mankind. Primitives used to keep dogs hunt food and to secure their homes. Nowadays, the people who keep pets have a close bonding with them. They treat animals such as dogs, cats in the same way as their children. In my opinion, this relationship is good. First of all, by keeping animals like birds, cats, dogs or cows increases their age. As if these animals stray on streets they are more susceptible to be pounced upon by predators. For instance, cats can be jumped upon by dogs or parrots could be hunted by ferocious birds like eagles or vultures. Secondly, herbivores like goats, cows provides daily requirement of human beings such as milk and other dairy related products. In turn, humans take care of these domesticated animals species and provide them optimum nutrients and fodder to keep them healthy. Thus maintaining a mutual relationship. On the other hand, this relationship is not viable because it takes away the freedom from pets to roam freely. In their natural habitat they can play with other animals of their kind. Often, it heard that people tie dogs for hours and sometimes punish them for fun. Recently, a footage has featured on news channel where a man is seen throwing a small puppy from top of the building. This kind of acts makes one think whether it is reasonable to keep animals at residence. Considering above points one could say that these mutual relationships are good for both humans and animals. But some degree of freedom should also be allowed to domesticated pets as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have maintained a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
since the evolution of mankind. Primitives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
hunt food and to secure their homes. Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
pets have a close bonding with them. They treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
, cats
in the same way
as their children. In my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like birds, cats,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
or cows increases their age.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
stray on streets they are more susceptible to
be pounced
upon by predators.
For instance
, cats can
be jumped
upon by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
or parrots could
be hunted
by ferocious birds like eagles or vultures.

Secondly
, herbivores like goats, cows provides daily requirement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings such as milk and other dairy related products. In turn,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
take care of these domesticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
species and provide them optimum nutrients and fodder to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them healthy.
Thus
maintaining a mutual relationship.

On the other hand
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is not viable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it takes away the freedom from pets to roam
freely
. In their natural habitat they can play with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of their kind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, it heard that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
for hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
punish them for fun. Recently, a footage has featured on news channel where a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
throwing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
puppy from top of the building. This kind of acts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
whether it is reasonable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
at residence.

Considering above points one could say that these mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
degree of freedom should
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to domesticated pets
as well
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people have a close relationship with their pets These people treat their birds cats or other animals like members of their family In your opinion are such relationships good Why or why not Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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