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With all the problems in the world today spending money on space exploration is a complete waste The money could be better spent on other causes v.2

With all the problems in the world today spending money on space exploration is a complete waste The money could be better spent on other causes v. 2
It is an undeniable fact the major democracies of the world are involved in strengthening their space missions rather than spending major chunk on research related to human health improvement. I agree with the notion that money should be spent in judicious manner. To start with, firstly the world is suffering from epidemic diseases like HIV, Cancer and people from every part of the globe are falling ill to such prevalent health evils. Therefore, it is the need of the hour to spend money on finding vaccination as prevention is better than cure. Secondly, developing countries like India and China who are growing to become superpowers should emphasize more on providing basic amenities to all sections of the society. According to world health organisation, number of infants dying in these countries are on rise since they are deprived of nutritional food and good health care system. So, it is absolutely uncalled for these nations to invest more on science and technology. On the other hand, space programs do have some positive aspects as well. The research can aid in various fields like weather forecasting, predicting the pattern of tsunamis and as well as finding some useful resources. Moreover, since the non-renewable energy sources like coal, petroleum and some mineral ores are getting exhausted so it is high time to look for alternatives on planets other than mother earth. In addition, it can be beneficial to accommodate growing population on blue planet to other heavenly bodies providing these planets have atmosphere similar to planet earth. To sum up, I would say that at this juncture it is critical that human should be saved from the jaws of widespread health hazards. After all, in a healthy body resides a healthy mind. Hence, money should be spent on other causes like health and education.
It is an undeniable fact the major democracies of the world
are involved
in strengthening their space missions
rather
than spending major chunk on research related to human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
improvement. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that money should
be spent
in judicious manner.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
firstly
the world is suffering from epidemic diseases like HIV, Cancer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from every part of the globe are falling ill to such prevalent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
evils.
Therefore
, it is the need of the hour to spend money on finding vaccination as prevention is better than cure.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like India and China who are growing to become superpowers should emphasize more on providing basic amenities to all sections of the society. According to world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, number of infants dying in these countries are on rise since they
are deprived
of nutritional food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
absolutely
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
uncalled for
these nations to invest more on science and technology.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, space programs do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects
as well
. The research can aid in various fields like weather forecasting, predicting the pattern of tsunamis and
as well
as finding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful resources.
Moreover
, since the non-renewable energy sources like coal, petroleum and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mineral ores are getting exhausted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is high time to look for alternatives on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than mother earth.
In addition
, it can be beneficial to accommodate growing population on blue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
heavenly bodies providing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
have atmosphere similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
earth.

To sum up, I would say that at this juncture it is critical that human should
be saved
from the jaws of widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hazards.
After all
, in a healthy body resides a healthy mind.
Hence
, money should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
causes like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay With all the problems in the world today spending money on space exploration is a complete waste The money could be better spent on other causes v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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