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Many people had been involved in sports as children, but don’t do any physical exercise as adults. What are the reasons people avoid physical exercise? How to overcome this trend and motivate to be more physically active? v.1

Many people had been involved in sports as children, but don’t do any physical exercise as adults. What are the reasons people avoid physical exercise? How to overcome this trend and motivate to be more physically active? v. 1
The role of games and sports in overall development of a person is terrific. Presently, juveniles tend to neglect every kind of physical activity, despite its umpteen advantages. Here I would account for the causative factors and remedial solutions to overcome this growing concern. There are manifold reasons behind this phenomenon. First and foremost, grown-ups enter into rat-race of earning back and belly and therefore they do not indulge in sports. For instance, unlike children, adults have to take numerous responsibilities in order to support their families financially. Consequently, they are left with no sufficient time to indulge themselves in games while undertaking all responsibilities. On the top of it, aspirations to excel in professional domains stimulate them to avert sport. Further emphasizing, physical exercise are at low ebb due to advancement of technology. To elaborate, cell phones, laptops and so on tend grab the entire attention of youngster during their leisure time which has made sport to take a back seat in their lives. As a result, they become physically inactive which is responsible for unhealthy young-generation. Aside from that, other tempting activities such as shopping, visiting theaters and eating outlets, party and so on has discouraged games among them. Numerous remedial measures can be taken to motivate youngsters to be fit as fiddle. To begin with, adults are more prone to stress. Thus, they must be inspired to engage in games or sports so that they can unwind themselves from the hassles of achieving more and more. Moreover, parents should be obliged to create awareness the significance of sports and energetic physique. To recapitulate, it can be seen that sports and games uplift the standard of health wealth and relationships. Thence its importance in our lines cannot we underestimated.
The role of
games
and
sports
in
overall
development of a person is terrific.
Presently
, juveniles tend to neglect every kind of physical activity, despite its umpteen advantages. Here I would account for the causative factors and remedial solutions to overcome this growing concern.

There are manifold reasons behind this phenomenon.
First
and foremost, grown-ups enter into rat-race of earning back and belly and
therefore
they do not indulge in
sports
.
For instance
, unlike children, adults
have to
take numerous responsibilities in order to support their families
financially
.
Consequently
, they are
left
with no sufficient time to indulge themselves in
games
while undertaking all responsibilities. On the top of it, aspirations to excel in professional domains stimulate them to avert sport.

Further
emphasizing, physical exercise are at low ebb due to advancement of technology. To elaborate, cell phones, laptops and
so
on tend grab the entire attention of youngster during their leisure time which has made
sport
to take a back seat in their
lives
.
As a result
, they become
physically
inactive which is responsible for unhealthy young-generation. Aside from that, other tempting activities such as shopping, visiting theaters and eating outlets, party and
so
on has discouraged
games
among them.

Numerous remedial measures can
be taken
to motivate youngsters to
be fit
as fiddle. To
begin
with, adults are more prone to
stress
.
Thus
, they
must
be inspired
to engage in
games
or
sports
so
that they can unwind themselves from the hassles of achieving more and more.
Moreover
, parents should
be obliged
to create awareness the significance of
sports
and energetic physique.

To recapitulate, it can be
seen
that
sports
and
games
uplift the standard of health wealth and relationships. Thence its importance in our lines cannot we underestimated.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people had been involved in sports as children, but don’t do any physical exercise as adults. What are the reasons people avoid physical exercise? How to overcome this trend and motivate to be more physically active? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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