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Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome? v.6

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome? v. 6
Although such topics, in all likelihood, never will yield a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on key to success is decided by own lessons hence life experiences gives a different aspect of knowledge compared to the formal education. My view is that irrespective of numerous arguments that exist on either side, I cannot agree that the life experiences are better without a formal education. Experiences acquired from own life is not worth without a formal education, when it is mandatory for a formal job, but is useful for day-to-day tasks. It is important to note that when formal education is provided, it gives a better insight into different aspects of the daily experiences. For example, while I was constructing my own house the knowledge acquired from my formal education helped me to decide certain scientific aspects of the building. Therefore, the aforementioned discussion shows that a formal education is highly desirable. Another pivotal aspect of the argument is that a degree enhances the possibility to expect a formal job. Although, knowledge gained by ourself can make us ready for a formal job, a professional degree could provide a better understanding of the work that needs to be carried out. For instance, the computer programming that I am doing can be done without a formal education, but certain theories that I have studied in my professional degree helped me to reduce mental stress. In conclusion, this essay discussed why a formal education is highly desirable and how it helps to reduce the work pressure, hence relying on the teachings from own life is less important. The equally potential evidence to support the arguments I have provided, underlines my opinion.
Although such topics, in all likelihood,
The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'will' and 'yield'.
never will yield
a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on key to success
is decided
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lessons
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
of knowledge compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. My view is that irrespective of numerous arguments that exist on either side, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences are better without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
education.

Experiences acquired from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not worth without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, when it is mandatory for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is useful for day-to-day tasks. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is provided
, it gives a better insight into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of the daily experiences.
For example
, while I was constructing my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
the knowledge acquired from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to decide certain scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspects
of the building.
Therefore
, the aforementioned discussion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
highly
desirable.

Another pivotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aspect
of the argument is that a degree enhances the possibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
job. Although, knowledge gained by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us ready for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
job, a professional degree could provide a better understanding of the work that needs to
be carried
out.
For instance
, the computer programming that I am doing can
be done
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certain theories that I have studied in my professional degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
highly
desirable and how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the work pressure,
hence
relying on the teachings from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. The
equally
potential evidence to support the arguments I have provided, underlines my opinion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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