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Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome? v.10

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome? v. 10
The 20th century has witnessed some phenomena such as globalization, the IT revolution, which has opened the horizons for numerous job opportunities. Since most of the jobs are in the private sector, and their main motive is to reap maximum profit; therefore, this type of employment is demanding in terms of time and energy. Indeed, to be successful as a professional and to cope-up with the social pressure and the extravagant lifestyle of the upcoming generation, people are spending extra hours in the office. So, the work-life balance of an individual is disturbed, and the essay will discuss the main reasons and remedy to overcome the prevailing situation. The prominent reason is the expenses pertaining to the social pressure, namely, the exorbitant school fees of the children and social gathering activities. In other words, in the cities, we live in societies, even if one is earning less than his neighbour, to be part of a social group in the community, and to maintain status, one has to spend the same money as your neighbour is doing. The civic authority of India, for instance, surveyed, the average expense category of employees and published that 98% of them are hugely burdened by the expense related to school fees or social gatherings, which they have to do it unwillingly. Moreover, in today's corporate world, there is a rat-race to be a successful professional, so one has to put extra effort; therefore, he can drive out extra profit for the company and be a stand-out employee. One of the obvious solutions to this problem is that the government should offer additional income tax benefits to the employees' kids studying in public educational institutes; consequently, the burden of earning extra will be eased off. In the USA, for example, parents prefer public schools, as they can claim the income tax benefits, and they use this saved money for recreation activities in the community they are living in. Furthermore, the private firms should implement a rule that every 2 out of 5 working days, the workforce will be leaving on time, so that they can spend time with their families, because, if a person is happy in his personal life, he can contribute more towards his company. To conclude, the social reputation pressure has forced people to spend and earn more, but a well balanced work-life of an individual can bolster his growth as a professional and the company in a better way.
The 20th century has witnessed
some
phenomena such as globalization, the IT revolution, which has opened the horizons for numerous job opportunities. Since most of the jobs are in the private sector, and their main motive is to reap maximum profit;
therefore
, this type of employment is demanding in terms of time and energy.
Indeed
, to be successful as a professional and to cope-up with the
social
pressure and the extravagant lifestyle of the upcoming generation,
people
are spending
extra
hours in the office.
So
, the work-life balance of an individual
is disturbed
, and the essay will discuss the main reasons and remedy to overcome the prevailing situation.

The prominent reason is the expenses pertaining to the
social
pressure,
namely
, the exorbitant school fees of the children and
social
gathering activities.
In other words
, in the cities, we
live
in societies, even if one is earning less than his
neighbour
, to be part of a
social
group in the community, and to maintain status, one
has to
spend the same money as your
neighbour
is doing. The civic authority of India,
for instance
, surveyed, the average expense category of employees and published that 98% of them are
hugely
burdened by the expense related to school fees or
social
gatherings, which they
have to
do it
unwillingly
.
Moreover
, in
today
's corporate world, there is a rat-race to be a successful professional,
so
one
has to
put
extra
effort;
therefore
, he can drive out
extra
profit for the
company
and be a stand-out employee.

One of the obvious solutions to this problem is that the
government
should offer additional income tax benefits to the employees' kids studying in public educational institutes;
consequently
, the burden of earning
extra
will be
eased
off. In the USA,
for example
, parents prefer public schools, as they can claim the income tax benefits, and they
use
this saved money for recreation activities in the community they are living in.
Furthermore
, the private firms should implement a
rule
that every 2 out of 5 working days, the workforce will be leaving on time,
so
that they can spend time with their families,
because
, if a person is happy in his personal life, he can contribute more towards his
company
.

To conclude
, the
social
reputation pressure has forced
people
to spend and earn more,
but
a
well balanced
work-life of an individual can bolster his growth as a professional and the
company
in a better way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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