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While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v.9

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v. 9
Some people say that offenders should be given a custodial sentence because it is the most suitable punishment for them. In my opinion, while imprisonment, perhaps, is an ideal way to prevent criminals from committing illegal activities again, other solutions such as education and community laboring could produce a more significant outcome. In terms of imprisonment, the main reason for applying this type of punishment to criminals is that governments want them to contrite their actions and behaviors in a separated place. These behaviors including recklessness, desire, or even being susceptible to many temptations need a particular amount of time to eliminate from their thoughts. Depending on the consequence of crimes that offenders will be put in jail for a specific period. For example, in the case of drug trafficking, they tend to stay in prison for about 20 to 30 years, which are virtually threefold that of pickpockets and shoplifting. Apart from the influence of imprisonment expressed above, two alternatives including education and community laboring have a more significant effect in the long-run. First, education provides thorough insights into the negative impact of illegal activities, which accordingly helps criminals to be more open-minded and develops better attitudes and behaviors. Second, community laboring is also a good option because several activities such as planting trees, building houses, and cleaning up local parks could help them not only forget about regretful moments in the past but also become a more law-abiding citizen in the future. In conclusion, although some people think that putting in jail is the best option to punish criminals nowadays, I, however, believe that providing proper education and social jobs is more positive and has better outcomes to society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that offenders should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a custodial sentence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the most suitable punishment for them. In my opinion, while imprisonment, perhaps, is an ideal way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from committing illegal activities again, other solutions such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and community laboring could produce a more significant outcome.

In terms of imprisonment, the main reason for applying this type of punishment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
want them to contrite their actions and behaviors in a separated place. These behaviors including recklessness, desire, or even being susceptible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
temptations need a particular amount of time to eliminate from their thoughts. Depending on the consequence of crimes that offenders will
be put
in jail for a specific period.
For example
, in the case of drug trafficking, they tend to stay in prison for about 20 to 30 years, which are
virtually
threefold that of pickpockets and shoplifting.

Apart from the influence of imprisonment expressed above, two alternatives including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and community laboring have a more significant effect in the long-run.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides thorough insights into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of illegal activities, which
accordingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to be more open-minded and develops better attitudes and behaviors. Second, community laboring is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several activities such as planting trees, building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, and cleaning up local parks could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
forget about regretful moments in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
become a more law-abiding citizen in the future.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that putting in jail is the best option to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
nowadays, I,
however
, believe that providing proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and social jobs is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and has better outcomes to society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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