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Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. v.1

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. v. 1
Parenting is an extremely important factor for the proper upbringing of a child. While some people are of the opinion that women make better parents, others think that men can also be effective in parenting. I believe that there cannot be conclusions drawn in a generic sense relating to the gender – Men or Women. What matters most is the one who has the qualities of being a good parent; this can be either a male or female. Women by virtue of having more patience, tend to handle children better during their infancy when patience is an important factor. Ensuring a balanced and nutritious diet for a child is again done better by women. For example, women are in a better position to understand what a child needs to take in the lunchbox for the school. Further, studies have indicated that imbibing the morals, values and ethics into a child during their growing up years is done better by mothers. Men's contribution to a child's development is found to be more effective when it comes to imbibing discipline. This becomes important as the child's time management becomes a key to his overall behavioural traits and personality. For example, ensuring the child wakes up in time, spends the right amount of time on studies, indoor and outdoor games can be better enforced by a father. Studies also indicate that children who get addicted to one particular activity, for example, say computer games, tend to grow up as loners and whose ability to interact socially becomes limited. Men tend to have better ability to control these activities in growing children. To conclude, it will be incorrect to draw a general inference that women make better parents than men. No two individuals are the same and everyone possesses their unique strengths. If that strength coincides with the quality required for effective parenting, they could make good parents regardless of whether they are men or women.
Parenting is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for the proper upbringing of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can
also
be effective in parenting. I believe that there cannot be conclusions drawn in a generic sense relating to the gender
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
. What matters most is the one who has the qualities of being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
; this can be either a male or female.

Women by virtue of having more patience, tend to handle children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
during their infancy when patience is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor. Ensuring a balanced and nutritious diet for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is again done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position to understand what a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs to take in the lunchbox for the school.
Further
, studies have indicated that imbibing the morals, values and ethics into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
during their growing up years
is done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
by mothers.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
's contribution to a child's development
is found
to be more effective when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to imbibing discipline. This becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the child's time management becomes a key to his
overall
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
traits and personality.
For example
, ensuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
wakes up in time, spends the right amount of time on studies, indoor and outdoor games can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
enforced by a father. Studies
also
indicate that children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to one particular activity,
for example
, say computer games, tend to grow up as loners and whose ability to interact
socially
becomes limited.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
tend to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
ability to control these activities in growing children.

To conclude
, it will be incorrect to draw a general inference that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. No two individuals are the same and everyone possesses their unique strengths. If that strength coincides with the quality required for effective parenting, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
regardless of whether they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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