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Traditionally women play the role of upbringing their children while men work outside to earn money for the family. Some people argue that women make the better parent than man and that’s why they should play the greater role in upbringing children. Others, however, say that men can be as good as women in parenting. v.1

Traditionally women play the role of upbringing their children while men work outside to earn money for the family. Some people argue that women make the better parent than man and that’s why they should play the greater role in upbringing children. Others, however, say that men can be as good as women in parenting. v. 1
Traditionally, people exhort the women to take primary responsibility for nursing and educating their children. Women take a crucial role in growing the kids to being an enough older. Meanwhile, the man pays more attentions on fulfilling goods for the family members. Men are the person with superior power in making decisions in the family and women are powerless and follow the decision of men. She can not involve in voted her voices on taking a decision, otherwise, she only focuses on taking care and growing their children. Furthermore, modern people show that taking care of their children is older people want to. Both of men and women have the willingness to support the young person to become a man and a woman. The men not only give the authorities to the women to being a single fighter in to provide kids needed, but he is also actively involved in raising their children. To sum up, take car and guardian the kids not only being as women responsibility, but men also involved actively in younger life development. From my point of view, both of them, men and women have equal responsibility for taking care of and raising their children. Men and women have the same position in making decision in their family as well as in helping their kids for a better life in the future.
Traditionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
exhort the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to take primary responsibility for nursing and educating their children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
take a crucial role in growing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to being an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
older. Meanwhile, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
pays more attentions on fulfilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for the family members.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
are the person with superior power in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in the family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are powerless and follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. She can not involve in voted her voices on taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
,
otherwise
, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses on taking care and growing their children.

Furthermore
, modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that taking care of their children is older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to. Both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the willingness to support the young person to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and a woman. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give the authorities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to being a single fighter in to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
needed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is
also
actively
involved in raising their children.

To sum up, take car and guardian the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
responsibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
also
involved
actively
in younger life development. From my point of view, both of them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have equal responsibility for taking care of and raising their children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the same position in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
in their family
as well
as in helping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for a better life in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Traditionally women play the role of upbringing their children while men work outside to earn money for the family. Some people argue that women make the better parent than man and that’s why they should play the greater role in upbringing children. Others, however, say that men can be as good as women in parenting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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