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Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have v.2

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. 2
First and foremost, raising children right is the most important responsibility of any parent. Children who are raised right not only have a good life, but also contribute positively towards building a better society. Bringing up our offsprings well would mean not just taking care of their physical and financial needs, in addition means investing time and energy in adhering to their emotional, mental and intellectual needs. Parenting in my opinion is an equal responsibility of both parents. Being a mother myself, I believe that men too have a similar skill set when it comes to parenting. Though, the traditional view puts the mother on the mantel saying that women are more sensitive and sensible, so they make better parents, in my personal experience, men as well have the same sensibilities when it comes to looking after a child. We, are definitely observing this more in the modern society where work allows even dads to take paternity leave due to which they are able to form a stronger bond with their kids from day 1. Like, my husband had taken a paternity leave when my daughter was born, and he took part in all the chores of the newborn from feeding to changing diapers. So, by the end of the 1st month itself, my husband also knew what my baby's cry meant, which traditionally most believe only the mother knows. And, since he formed such a strong bond at an early stage, even today when my child is nearly 3 years old, he knows what she is thinking or feeling, sometimes even better than me. I have observed a similar pattern in most of my friends where fathers spend enough time with the child and saw the contrary, to be true where father had gone back to work immediately. In conclusion, parenting is a wholesome job of the parents and both the mom and dad have similar sensibilities and skills to bring up a child well it is just a matter of letting go of the traditional misgivings and enjoying parenthood to the maximum.
First
and foremost, raising children right is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
responsibility of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. Children who
are raised
right not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contribute
positively
towards building a better society. Bringing up our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings well
would mean not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
taking care of their physical and financial needs,
in addition
means investing time and energy in adhering to their emotional, mental and intellectual needs.

Parenting in my opinion is an equal responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Being a mother myself, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Did you mean "to have"?
too have
a similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to parenting. Though, the traditional view puts the mother on the mantel saying that women are more sensitive and sensible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, in my personal experience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
as well
have the same sensibilities when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to looking after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. We, are definitely observing this more in the modern society where work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
even dads to take paternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
due to which they are able to form a stronger bond with their kids from day 1.

Like, my husband had taken a paternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
when my daughter
was born
, and he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in all the chores of the newborn from feeding to changing diapers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 1st month itself, my husband
also
knew what my baby's cry meant, which
traditionally
most believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the mother knows. And, since he formed such a strong bond at an early stage, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
nearly
3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, he knows what she is thinking or feeling,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even better than me. I have observed a similar pattern in most of my friends where fathers spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the contrary, to be true where father had gone back to work immediately.

In conclusion
, parenting is a wholesome job of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and both the mom and dad have similar sensibilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to bring up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
well it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of letting go of the traditional misgivings and enjoying parenthood to the maximum.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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