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Many people believe that the increasing use of modern technology at work and in leisure is reducing people's creativity. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people believe that the increasing use of modern technology at work and in leisure is reducing people's creativity. v. 1
In today' s era, it has witnessed the rapidly increasing speed of modern technology but some hold the view that the use of it whether at work deprives individuals of creativity. advanced technology has changed the world life a lot such as the convenient transportation, speeded up with three folds even more in comparison with it before, global communication net that no matter when and where we are we can talk with one we want, shortening the distance and more food production based on the modern technology used in agriculture. To be honest, it really tremendously improved and developed our life level. However, it also reduce our creativity. There is a programme that can compose music tunes with various musical styles and audience can' t distinguish whether it is composed by machine or musician. More stunning is that it has the ability to compose classical music like Bach and Mozart, fooling people that it is really composed by them, as if it is the tremendous masterpiece forgotten by the time but now appears. it is the same condition in other art works like paintings and sculpture and the machine equipped with modern and advanced technology achieves a high level in some fields. The great artificial works are created by technology instead of human, lacking the process of taking efforts, the emotion and the unique thoughts, sounding really ridiculous and absurd. while the thinking of technology takes place of human' s thinking, how terrible! but the thing happens in our life. individuals are accustomed to use machine to finish and achieve their task when in work and their novel work creativity may gradually fade away with the template project overflowing with all aspects of careers. In lesuire time, people kill time using smart phones and in most of this process, they lose enthusiasm of creating but only feel bored. As far as I' m concerned, I agree over that people are away from creativity while advanced technology occupy our time and life with its great convenience. The thoughts we owned gradually dissipate if we aren' t aware of the circumstance that technology results in laziness. Of course, it doesn' t mean technology is like a monster, despite it has lots of benefits.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s era, it has witnessed the
rapidly
increasing speed of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold the view that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it whether at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
deprives individuals of creativity.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
a lot such as the convenient transportation,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sped", the past tense form of the verb 'speed'?
speeded
up with three folds even more
in comparison
with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, global communication net that no matter when and where we are we can talk with one we want, shortening the distance and more food production based on the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in agriculture. To be honest, it
really
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and developed our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
level.

However
, it
also
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
our creativity. There is a
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
that can compose music tunes with various musical styles and audience
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t distinguish whether it
is composed
by machine or musician. More stunning is that it has the ability to compose classical music like Bach and Mozart, fooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is
really
composed by them, as if it is the tremendous masterpiece forgotten by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
appears.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is the same condition in other art works like paintings and sculpture and the machine equipped with modern and advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
achieves a high level in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields. The great artificial works
are created
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
instead
of human, lacking the process of taking efforts, the emotion and the unique thoughts, sounding
really
ridiculous and absurd.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
the thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
takes place of
Possible spelling mistake found.
human&
#039; s thinking, how terrible!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
the thing happens in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
individuals
are accustomed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
machine to finish and achieve their task when in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and their novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
creativity may
gradually
fade away with the template project overflowing with all aspects of careers. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesuire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using smart phones and in most of this process, they lose enthusiasm of creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
feel bored.

As far as
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m concerned, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
over that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are away from creativity while advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
occupy our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with its great convenience. The thoughts we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
gradually
dissipate if we
Possible spelling mistake found.
aren&
#039; t aware of the circumstance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
results in laziness.
Of course
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is like a monster, despite it has lots of benefits.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Many people believe that the increasing use of modern technology at work and in leisure is reducing people's creativity. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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