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Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 5
In the modern world, many people are keen to think that the main cause of the pollution in the urban areas is cars, as the surrounding world contaminated by the carbon emissions of vehicles. However, others feel that the biggest source of this problem is industrious. After pondering this phenomenon, personally, I believe that these two factors are equally guilty for the environmental problems. On the one hand, it is true that the increasing number of cars may pollute the air and water. That is to say, cars may become the burning issue of the society because of the carbon emissions and dangerous gases to the environment. Furthermore, more vehicle on the road means more problems for the people. To illustrate, the greatest number of cars can cause a traffic jam during the rush hours and car accidences. However, many people believe that introducing new taxes for vehicles in order to reduce their number is a viable option. In addition to this, developing public transportation can be solved too. On the other hand, it is clear that many factories produce a lot of waste and pollutants. Factories are accounted as a main cause of the environmental problems in the urban areas, especially in industrial cities. For example, many ecologies blame the industries on the global warming and climate change. However, this problem can be solved by recycling materials and eco-friendly products. In conclusion, although many individuals blame the factories and cars on the environmental issues, personally, in my opinion, I believe that they are equally guilty on these questions. However, people are able to solve the problems by utilizing eco-friendly products and introducing new taxes for the cars.
In the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the main cause of the pollution in the urban areas is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, as the surrounding world contaminated by the carbon emissions of vehicles.
However
, others feel that the biggest source of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is industrious. After pondering this phenomenon,
personally
, I believe that these two factors are
equally
The usual collocation for "guilty" is "of" not "for". Did you mean "guilty of"?
guilty for
the environmental problems.

On the one hand, it is true that the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
may pollute the air and water.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
may become the burning issue of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the carbon emissions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
gases to the environment.
Furthermore
, more vehicle on the road means more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To illustrate, the greatest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can cause a traffic jam during the rush hours and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
Possible spelling mistake found.
accidences
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that introducing new taxes for vehicles in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their number is a viable option.
In addition
to this, developing public transportation can
be solved
too.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
waste and pollutants. Factories
are accounted
as a main cause of the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the urban areas,
especially
in industrial cities.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecologies
blame the industries on the global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
by recycling materials and eco-friendly products.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals blame the factories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the environmental issues,
personally
, in my opinion, I believe that they are
equally
guilty on these questions.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by utilizing eco-friendly products and introducing new taxes for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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