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Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 1
In the recent decades, cities, especially metropolises, have faced more pollution than ever before. As a result, a controversy has arisen over what is the primary reason behind this predicament. While some people attribute it to the marked increase of cars, others would contend that the chief among all causes is industrial activities, which from my perspective, the latter is more accurate. Although cars, undoubtedly, cause a detrimental effect on the urban environment, the catastrophe industrialism brings in its wake is much more disturbing. Emitting harmful gases to air, cars have always been considered as a danger to cities. The gravity of this problem, nonetheless, has been alleviated thanks to significant alterations. Electric cars are going into publicity as a substitute for conventional pollutant cars. Government, furthermore, is determined to take an environmentally friendly approach by allocating more expenditure of public transportation, which culminate in a decline in the number of cars. Hence, the side effects of overusing cars are going to be marginal in the foreseeable future. In stark contrast, never have been urban districts experienced such industrial growth in the history. Modern lifestyle which consumerism plays a major role in, leads to a marked boost in the construction of factories, with the aim of providing a wide range of multi-coloured products for consumer society. Having occupied the suburbs, factories are likely to encroach into the heart of cities in the future. If it happens, cities’ degradation will occur. Unfortunately, not only does thiss damage ruin cities, but it also brings long-term consequences to ecosystem in the shape of global warming and extinction of species. By way of conclusion, both cars and factories are culprit for cities’ pollution. Industrial issue, however, is the pivot in which the catastrophe turns.
In the recent decades,
cities
,
especially
metropolises, have faced more pollution than ever
before
.
As a result
, a controversy has arisen over what is the primary reason behind this predicament. While
some
people
attribute it to the marked increase of
cars
, others would contend that the chief among all causes is industrial activities, which from my perspective, the latter is more accurate. Although
cars
,
undoubtedly
, cause a detrimental effect on the urban environment, the catastrophe industrialism brings in its wake is much more disturbing. Emitting harmful gases to air,
cars
have always
been considered
as a
danger
to
cities
. The gravity of this problem, nonetheless, has
been alleviated
thanks to significant alterations. Electric
cars
are going into publicity as a substitute for conventional pollutant
cars
.
Government
,
furthermore
,
is determined
to take an
environmentally
friendly approach by allocating more expenditure of public transportation, which culminate in a decline in the number of
cars
.
Hence
, the side effects of overusing
cars
are going to be marginal in the foreseeable future. In stark contrast, never have been urban districts experienced such industrial growth in the history. Modern lifestyle which consumerism plays a major role in, leads to a marked boost in the construction of factories, with the aim of providing a wide range of
multi-coloured
products for consumer society. Having occupied the suburbs, factories are likely to encroach into the heart of
cities
in the future. If it happens,
cities’
degradation will occur. Unfortunately, not
only
does
thiss
damage ruin
cities
,
but
it
also
brings long-term
consequences to
ecosystem in the shape of global warming and extinction of species. By way of conclusion, both
cars
and factories are culprit for
cities’
pollution. Industrial issue,
however
, is the pivot in which the catastrophe turns.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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