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Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 3
It is no doubt true that because of technical revolution our globe-Earth- has polluted more than before is recent decades. As reasons, majority of individuals have been arguing the increasing number of vehicles in most metropolises, whereas industries are being demonstrated as the basic cause of pollution by the rest of the population. Even though, cars might be dangerous to the human health, industrial factories have cataclysmic means towards the planet Earth. On the one hand, emission carbon dioxide from utilizing vehicles which works with oil production would be dangerous not only to the ecosystem but also our health. Moreover, through using that above-mentioned oil products is also waste, because the sun is shining for over millennium years for us. What I mean is electro models that require electricity as fuel instead of fossil fuel, have no detrimental effects on the natural world. Fortunately, most nations are striving to change the outdated form of cars to the modern ones. For example, electronic cars called TESLA has been producing for only two decades, but that kind of cars has already been popularized over most countries. Therefore, there will not be significant threats, in the recent future, by the emission of disastrous gas if we alter our machine system totally. On the other hand, industries has also bad effects, in every aspect of our lives, even more than a great number of cars. Additionally, it is an undeniable fact that manufactures, effect on the natural world, have been increasing in numbers year after year. For instance, six years ago a factory called KHANDIM had founded and three years ago a factory founded with the name GTL. Furthermore, industrial factories are not only polluters, however, contributes water waste by polluting results in major problems not only to the society, but also the environment and animals in the shape of death and global warming. By way of conclusion, although automobiles are considered as the main factor to stimulate environmental degradation and waste by a great number of people, industries are highly damaging indeed.
It is no doubt true that
because
of technical revolution our globe-Earth- has polluted more than
before
is recent decades. As reasons,
majority of
individuals have been arguing the increasing
number
of vehicles in most metropolises, whereas industries are
being demonstrated
as the basic cause of pollution by the rest of the population.
Even though
,
cars
might be
dangerous
to the human health, industrial
factories
have cataclysmic means towards the planet Earth.

On the one hand, emission carbon dioxide from utilizing vehicles which works with oil production would be
dangerous
not
only
to the ecosystem
but
also
our health.
Moreover
, through using that above-mentioned oil products is
also
waste,
because
the sun is shining for over millennium years for us. What I mean is
electro
models that require electricity as fuel
instead
of fossil fuel, have no detrimental effects on the natural world.
Fortunately
, most nations are striving to
change
the outdated form of
cars
to the modern ones.
For example
, electronic
cars
called TESLA has been producing for
only
two decades,
but
that kind of
cars
has already
been popularized
over most countries.
Therefore
, there will not be significant threats, in the recent future, by the emission of disastrous gas if we alter our machine system
totally
.

On the other hand
, industries has
also
bad
effects, in every aspect of our
lives
, even more than a great
number
of
cars
.
Additionally
, it is an undeniable fact that manufactures, effect on the natural world, have been increasing in
numbers
year
after
year
.
For instance
, six years ago a
factory
called
KHANDIM
had founded and three years ago a
factory
founded with the name
GTL
.
Furthermore
, industrial
factories
are not
only
polluters,
however
, contributes water waste by polluting results in major problems not
only
to the society,
but
also
the environment and animals in the shape of death and global warming.

By way of conclusion, although automobiles
are considered
as the main factor to stimulate environmental degradation and waste by a great
number
of
people
, industries are
highly
damaging
indeed
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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