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In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 4
The problem of tobacco smoking and smoking bans are confrontation between smokers and non-smokers because they have strong views about their rights. Now a large number of countries have decided to ban smoking in indoor areas and public places. If a person wants to smoke, he should come in a special room for smoking and I agree with the statement. To begin with Medical studies has shown that smokers are able to have health issues such as heart attack, lung cancer, and skin cancer. Smoking also causes problems for the owners and workers, due to they want to have more breaks for smoke. As well as cigarettes compromise not only active smokers but also people who are passive smokers. Smoke lovers are better to search a smoking area due to it does not have any negative impact to a person who loathes smoke of the cigarette. Also, it has many effects on the environment such as, it pollutes the air quality of the premises, and the stench of the smoke remains in the area for a long time. In this connection restriction is a radical change from the way things used to be until quite recently. Smokers are against restrictions. Firstly, they say that passive smokers make the choice to breathe smoke of cigarette or not. If they would prefer not to smoke passively, then they do not need to visit places where smoking is permitted. Smoking is not against the law, so individuals should have the freedom to smoke where they wish. In conclusion, if the government illegal to smoke in public places This would improve the health of thousands of people.
The problem of tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
bans are confrontation between smokers and non-smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have strong views about their rights.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
countries have decided to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in indoor areas and public places. If a person wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
, he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in a special room for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with Medical studies has shown that smokers are able to have health issues such as heart attack, lung cancer, and skin cancer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
also
causes problems for the owners and workers, due to they want to have more breaks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
.
As well
as cigarettes compromise not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
active smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are passive smokers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoke
lovers are better to search a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
area due to it does not have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to a person who loathes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
of the cigarette.
Also
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects on the environment such as, it pollutes the air quality of the premises, and the stench of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
remains in the area for a long time. In this connection restriction is a radical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from the way things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be until quite recently.

Smokers are against restrictions.
Firstly
, they say that passive smokers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the choice to breathe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
of cigarette or not. If they
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would prefer
not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
passively
, then they do not need to visit places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is permitted
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is not against the law,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
individuals should have the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
where they wish.

In conclusion
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
illegal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in public places This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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