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Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v.3

Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v. 3
Every country in the world has a history that has been created by people. According to the civilization and culture, it can be attractive to other people of the nations. So, visiting these countries is significant for people who create tours for more acquaintance with the culture. According to the United Nations World Tourism Organization (UNWTO), the number of tourists visiting other countries is growing by 30% each year. However, the contrast of cultures between different countries can have advantages and disadvantages. If the tourism industry develops with planning, it will have positive effects. Increasing employment and an economic boom are one of the most important reasons for the tourism industry. It allows indigenous peoples of the countries to present their rich customs, traditions, lifestyles, and cultures to the world. Moreover, the high number of tourists in the country increases the international relations of the tourist country, which boosts trade and cultural communication. On the other hand, inappropriate tourism development can increase tensions between people from different countries. Most of the time, tourists are indifferent or unaware of the national beliefs and cultural habits of a country, such as the type of clothing, customs, or food of the local people, which is one of the main challenges of the tourism industry. Besides, the annual arrival of large numbers of tourists and their overcrowding in one place can cause serious damage to the historical monuments and the environment. Eventually, given the many benefits and enjoyments that a trip can have, having information and awareness of the culture and rules of countries will reduce problems. ''The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page''. (St. Augustine)
Every
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country
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has a history that has
been created
by
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people
. According to the civilization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it can be attractive to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the nations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, visiting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who create tours for more acquaintance with the culture.

According to the United Nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
Organization (
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNWTO
), the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is growing by 30% each year.
However
, the contrast of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can have advantages and disadvantages.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry develops with planning, it will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. Increasing employment and an economic boom are one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
indigenous
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peoples
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to present their rich customs, traditions, lifestyles, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Moreover
, the high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
increases the international relations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which boosts trade and cultural communication.

On the other hand
, inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
development can increase tensions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Most of the time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are indifferent or unaware of the national beliefs and cultural habits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, such as the type of clothing, customs, or food of the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is one of the main challenges of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry.

Besides
, the annual arrival of large numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and their overcrowding in one place can cause serious damage to the historical monuments and the environment.

Eventually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and enjoyments that a trip can have, having information and awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
problems.

''The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is a book and those who do not travel read
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one page''.

(St. Augustine)
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Increasing travels between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries? v. 3

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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