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Some people believe that the activity of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economy of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that the activity of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economy of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. 1
In recent years, many companies are expanding and are now global. Some people are of the view that these companies have a positive effect on the economy of less developed countries, whereas, others believe that these corporations mainly harm these countries. Although, there have been more job offers in some developing parts of the world owing to the activity of these corporations, however, I believe that they are harmful due to the huge finances on the products of these business, while more important needs are neglected. On the one hand, the rise in employment opportunities in some less developed nations have been attributed to the activity of large global corporations. These businesses create flight of capital from some wealthy individuals to many poor countries, which help to establish branch offices resulting in jobs for many people, ranging from unskilled labour force to technologists and engineers. For instance, multinational companies such as Total and Shell are the major employer of labour in the Niger delta region of Nigeria. This reveals an important benefit of such corporations. On the other hand, some people think that these big corporations prevent the citizens of less developed countries from allocating scare resource to urgent needs. Through advertisements and promotions, some people are not able to distinguish their needs from their wants and subsequently, spend huge amount of their income on luxury, decreasing their savings and infrastructure development. More so, the profits of these businesses are not often retained in developing countries. For example, in recent years, companies like Apple have increased the expenditure on electronic devices in many developing parts of the world with no appreciable economical benefits. Therefore, this has deleterious consequences on the economical growth of such countries. I agree with this view. In conclusion, the activity of huge multinational corporations create employment opportunities for many citizens in developing countries, however, I hold the view that it negatively impair on the economy of these nations due to the increase in spending on the products of these business. Efforts geared towards promoting this view should be encouraged.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are expanding and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
global.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the economy of less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, whereas, others believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
mainly
harm these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Although, there have been more job offers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
parts of the world owing to the activity of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
,
however
, I believe that they are harmful due to the huge finances on the products of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, while more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
needs
are neglected
.

On the one hand, the rise in employment opportunities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
less developed nations have
been attributed
to the activity of large global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
create flight of capital from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wealthy individuals to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to establish branch offices resulting in jobs for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, ranging from unskilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force to technologists and engineers.
For instance
, multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such as Total and Shell are the major employer of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in the Niger delta region of Nigeria. This reveals an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit of such corporations.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the citizens of less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from allocating scare resource to urgent needs. Through advertisements and promotions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to distinguish their needs from their wants and
subsequently
, spend huge amount of their income on luxury, decreasing their savings and infrastructure development. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the profits of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
retained in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
like Apple have increased the expenditure on electronic devices in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
parts of the world with no appreciable
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
benefits.
Therefore
, this has deleterious consequences on the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

In conclusion
, the activity of huge multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
create employment opportunities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
however
, I hold the view that it
negatively
impair on the economy of these nations due to the increase in spending on the products of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Efforts geared towards promoting this view should
be encouraged
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the activity of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economy of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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