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Many people believe that television programs are of no value for children. Do you agree? Why or why not? v.1

Many people believe that television programs are of no value for children. Do you agree? Why or why not? v. 1
Television media has become a pervasive force in the lives of families around the world today. Yet, a central question remains regarding whether watching television is harmful or beneficial for children. An analysis of this question reveals that television programs present three major concerns in the case of children, including depictions of violence, the use of profane language, and the representation of poor moral role models. Television programs that portray violence are a paramount concern for parents nowadays. Recent research has shown that children may commit acts of violence because they wish to emulate the behaviour that they see on television. This is especially true when violent acts are committed by well-known action “heroes. ” In addition, television programs show cartoon figures, as well as actors, committing violent acts. Using comic situations to depict violent themes causes further problems with the way in which young people view violence. Television programs that contain profane or disrespectful language also worry parents with young children. Because censorship laws have relaxed over the past few decades, it has become very common for television programs of each and every kind to show characters expressing impolite, rude, and insulting utterances to one another. Bearing resemblance to the case of portrayals of violence, children unfortunately often try to imitate these actions they watch on their television screens. Finally, some parents are upset about the moral behaviour depicted on television. As they struggle to teach their children moral and ethical values, parents might despair about the lack of morals and ethics represented in some of the so-called role models on television. For instance, certain characters not only have no remorse for their immoral actions but also frequently go unpunished by the larger societies. Because of these factors, many parents believe that television programs deliver their youth the wrong kinds of messages. The emulation of this behaviour by their children is something they wish to avoid at all costs, and they have accordingly decided to ban television in their households for these reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
media has become a pervasive force in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of families around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Yet
, a central question remains regarding whether watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is harmful or beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. An analysis of this question reveals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
present three major concerns in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, including depictions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of profane language, and the representation of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
role models.

Television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that portray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
are a paramount concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays. Recent research has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may commit acts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they wish to emulate the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. This is
especially
true when violent acts
are committed
by well-known action “heroes. ”
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
cartoon figures,
as well
as actors, committing violent acts. Using comic situations to depict violent themes causes
further
problems with the way in which young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
view violence.

Television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that contain profane or disrespectful language
also
worry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
censorship laws have relaxed over the past few decades, it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
of each and every kind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
characters expressing impolite, rude, and insulting utterances to one another. Bearing resemblance to the case of portrayals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
unfortunately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to imitate these actions they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
screens.

Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are upset
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
depicted on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. As they struggle to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moral
and ethical values,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might despair about the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morals
and ethics represented in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called role models on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
For instance
, certain characters not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have no remorse for their immoral actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
frequently
go unpunished by the larger societies.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
deliver their youth the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
kinds of messages. The emulation of this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is something they wish to avoid at all costs, and they have
accordingly
decided to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in their households for these reasons.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that television programs are of no value for children. Do you agree? Why or why not? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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