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Many people believe that technological and science advance make food better, whereas some others believe that because of it, that food now is more harmful in people's life. Discuss both views and say your opinion. v.2

Many people believe that technological and science advance make food better, whereas some others believe that because of it, that food now is more harmful in people's life. v. 2
Lifestyle has undergone a dramatic change over a couple of decades. Presently, technology is gaining prevalence all over the world. Myraid masses assert that technical gadgets are better to cook food. By contrast, others ponder that technological and science science are not healthy for them. Here, i would like to account for both views with my own perception. There are multifarious benefits of this phenomena. First and foremost, science appliances enable to prepare food properly. For instance, people can use various gadgets such as roti-maker, ovan and cooker pressure that help them to make food better. Apart from it, they can not only make food tastefully but also prepare it easily. Moving further on my point of view. These appliances balance the taste of food in less amount of time. To elaborate, in ovan individual can make or bake the food in very less period. Thus, they are expected to cook food healthy. On contrary, others have conflicting views. To initiate with, these technical gadgets offer various types of ailments. To justify microwave pass many waves to heat the food as infrared, micro and so on which give birth copious disease. Hence, people are likely to become the victim of chronic ailments. From my point of view, both aspects have their own significance. Some individual acknowledged that these appliances are fruitful to cook the food while others think that it is detrimental for them. However, it is an advisable that these gadgets help us to save our time. To recapitulate, undeniable, with these advance mechanisms they can get nutritious food that is beneficial to keep body fit and healthy.
Lifestyle has undergone a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
over a couple of decades.
Presently
, technology is gaining prevalence all over the world.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myraid
masses assert that technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
are better to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By contrast, others ponder that technological and
Possible typo: you repeated a word
science science
are not healthy for them. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to account for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are multifarious benefits of
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena.
First
and foremost, science appliances enable to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
properly
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
roti-maker
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ovan
and cooker pressure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
better. Apart from it, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
tastefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
prepare it
easily
.

Moving
further
on my point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
. These appliances balance the taste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in less amount of time. To elaborate, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ovan
individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
or bake the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less period.
Thus
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
healthy.

On contrary, others have conflicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
. To initiate with, these technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
offer various types of ailments. To justify microwave pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
waves to heat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as infrared, micro and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which give birth copious disease.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are likely to become the victim of chronic ailments.

From my point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, both aspects have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individual acknowledged that these appliances are fruitful to cook the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is detrimental for them.
However
, it is an advisable that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to save our time.

To recapitulate, undeniable, with these advance mechanisms they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that is
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
body fit and healthy.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that technological and science advance make food better, whereas some others believe that because of it, that food now is more harmful in people's life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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