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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. v. 1
It is believed by many that social sites have had adverse ramifications on a person as well as on the community. I totally agree with this assertion. Undoubtedly, social platform has its benefits. Most important of them all is that it provides connectivity to people, especially those who stay at a longer distance. For instance, most of my friends are living in a foreign country. I often use social platforms such as Skype or Facebook to chat and see them at the touch of a button. On the other hand, this type of interaction was never possible before the social sites. Nevertheless, the negative impacts social sites brought far outweigh the benefits. For example, individual who uses a social site more makes his life sedentary. By using these sites every day, one would get addicted to their alluring functions and spend most of the time sitting ideal. Before the invention of such sites, I used to spend my leisure time playing outdoor games, but now I mostly stay online on social platforms. This means that I do not exercise and my life becomes inactive. Furthermore, social sites have also increased the crime rates in the society. Most people upload their photos on these sites which are being misused. One of my female friends has found that someone has stolen her identity and created her fake account on Facebook just to blackmail her for some money. Police were unable to catch the person because he has malfunctioned the IP address of a computer. Therefore, it can be said that social sites have also given birth to the social crimes. In conclusion, social networking platforms are putting substantial negative influences on both an individual and the society. Usage of these platforms would not only make someone lazy, but it also increases the social misdeeds.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have had adverse ramifications on a person
as well
as on the community. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
has its benefits. Most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of them all is that it provides connectivity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
those who stay at a longer distance.
For instance
, most of my friends are living in a foreign country. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
such as Skype or Facebook to chat and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them at the touch of a button.
On the other hand
, this type of interaction was never possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites.

Nevertheless
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
brought far outweigh the benefits.
For example
, individual who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
his life sedentary. By using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
every day, one would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to their alluring functions and spend most of the time sitting ideal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the invention of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend my leisure time playing outdoor games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I
mostly
stay online on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
. This means that I do not exercise and my life becomes inactive.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
also
increased the crime rates in the society. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
upload their photos on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
which are
being misused
. One of my female friends has found that someone has stolen her identity and created her fake account on Facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to blackmail her for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money. Police were unable to catch the person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has malfunctioned the IP address of a computer.
Therefore
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
crimes.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are putting substantial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on both an individual and the society. Usage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone lazy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
misdeeds.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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