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Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 1
It is a view of many people that youngster should consider the experiences of their seniors, while others deem that everyone should develop their own identical methods for better understanding. On the one hand, Sole-efforts in learning something might lead to better understanding with higher levels of output and service. Furthermore, the thinking skills of minors will hopefully be improved because they can independently find solutions to their problems. For example, summer camps activities are predominant in children's’ future endeavours. Consequently, taking bad decision or mistakes often allow individuals to learn the consequences, which would not be possible by teaching in some cases. Considering the example of Bill Gates, whose success is the outcome of his efforts, as there was no one capable to mentor him and he launched Microsoft Windows after multiple failed attempts. On the other hand, influence of elderly people is important, especially at their growing age. Therefore, children should consider established ground-rules and advices proposed by their guardians, as this allows allows youngsters to absorb conventions and codes of conduct, which they can follow themselves, hopefully leading to an absence of problems such as bullying, truancy and delinquency later on. In addition to that, adequate counselling should reduce the risk of children falling victim to crimes such as abduction or coming under the influence of negative peer pressure. In conclusion, while there are benefits to leave children to learn on their own and set their own examples, the possible consequences are still unknown. Children should consider old-fashioned techniques, as are being followed by their ancestors.
It is a view of
many
people
that youngster should consider the experiences of their seniors, while others deem that everyone should develop their
own
identical methods for better understanding.

On the one hand, Sole-efforts in learning something might lead to better understanding with higher levels of output and service.
Furthermore
, the thinking
skills
of minors will
hopefully
be
improved
because
they can
independently
find solutions to their problems.
For example
, summer camps activities are predominant in children's’ future
endeavours
.
Consequently
, taking
bad
decision or mistakes
often
allow
individuals to learn the consequences, which would not be possible by teaching in
some
cases. Considering the example of Bill Gates, whose success is the outcome of his efforts, as there was no one capable to mentor
him and
he launched Microsoft Windows after multiple failed attempts.

On the other hand
, influence of elderly
people
is
important
,
especially
at their growing age.
Therefore
,
children
should consider established ground-
rules
and advices proposed by their guardians, as this
allows
allows
youngsters to absorb conventions and codes of conduct, which they can follow themselves,
hopefully
leading to an absence of problems such as bullying, truancy and delinquency later on.
In addition
to that, adequate counselling should
reduce
the
risk
of
children
falling victim to crimes such as abduction or coming under the influence of
negative
peer pressure.

In conclusion
, while there are benefits to
leave
children
to learn on their
own
and set their
own
examples, the possible consequences are
still
unknown.
Children
should consider
old
-fashioned techniques, as are
being followed
by their ancestors.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that young people should follow older people’s examples while others think it is good for young people to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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