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1) Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree? v.1

1) Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. v. 1
With the increased use of social media in the recent years, many people are becoming more concerned about the adverse effect, the networking media has on the individuals and the society. While there are countless benefits of using social media, like Facebook and Instagram, in my opinion, uncontrolled and excessive use of such media has its toll on both the individuals and the society. Undoubtedly, the advantages of using social media are many. Firstly, social media has brought friends and relatives together more than ever before. This is especially true for those who live apart. We can now instantly reach the dear ones and circulate latest updates of each other, even if we are located in the different continent. Secondly, social media provides a positive platform to share knowledge with each other in the community or in an institution. For example, students can now easily share their notes and ideas with their classmates and even with their teacher using these platforms. However, the disadvantages of social media outweigh the advantages in several ways. Younger generations spends ample of time each day on social networking. To give an example, my 16-year-old niece uploads a minimum of ten pictures every day, and share multiple statuses and moments on the Facebook. This, consequently, has affected her productivity and led to a decrease in study time, which in turn led to a poorer academic performance in college. In addition, sharing excessive personal information and moments publicly leads to a breach of an individual's privacy. People with bad intentions can now easily track individuals to do harm. For example, social networking provides a huge platform for cybercrime. Young girls committing suicide after experiencing bullying via the internet is one of common news in the newspapers around the world. To conclude, social networking is an inescapable reality of the modern civilization. Despite significant positive aspects of such media, the disadvantages of the platforms are many and need to be looked for. Individuals, especially youth should always use the networking site in moderation and keep their personal information private as much as possible.
With the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in the recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming more concerned about the adverse effect, the networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the society. While there are countless benefits of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, like Facebook and Instagram, in my opinion, uncontrolled and excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has its toll on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the society.

Undoubtedly
, the advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has brought friends and relatives together more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This is
especially
true for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
apart. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
instantly
reach the dear ones and circulate
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
updates of each other, even if we
are located
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
continent.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
provides a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
platform to share knowledge with each other in the community or in an institution.
For example
, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easily
share their notes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with their classmates and even with their teacher using these platforms.

However
, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
outweigh the advantages in several ways. Younger generations spends ample of time each day on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking. To give an example, my 16-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
niece uploads a minimum of ten pictures every day, and share multiple statuses and moments on the Facebook. This,
consequently
, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
her productivity and led to a decrease in study time, which in turn led to a poorer academic performance in college.
In addition
, sharing excessive personal information and moments
publicly
leads to a breach of an individual's privacy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intentions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to do harm.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking provides a huge platform for cybercrime. Young girls committing suicide after experiencing bullying via the internet is one of common news in the newspapers around the world.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking is an inescapable reality of the modern civilization. Despite significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the disadvantages of the platforms are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and need to
be looked
for.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
,
especially
youth should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the networking site in moderation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their personal information private as much as possible.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay 1) Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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