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Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. v. 1
Nowadays, people spend their most of the time in surfing through social networking sites, mostly Facebook and Instagram. Most of the people ponder that it causes a negative effect on both individual and society. This essay agrees with the statement to a greater extent. In further paragraphs, I intend to present my views regarding it. To commence with, social networking sites like Facebook and Instagram are used worldwide for many purposes. Many people are connected with it. They used it for contacting their friends and family members. In recent times, it is even used for marketing small business and for selling online items. For such purposes people share their personal details like bank account details, address, Aadhaar Card information and many more, which can lead to increase in extortion cases. For instance, last year many cases of online stealing were reported due to leaking of the personal details of a businessman, who lost a large amount of money in facebook fraud. It caused havoc in social media and among the public. Following this, social media are mostly used by young generation people they spend lots of time scrolling through this websites. Moreover, they become less interactive and decreases their participation in social events, in addition it also affected their academic grades. This affects the overall growth of the individual. To add up, if the youngsters are not supervised this can lead to the negative consequences. For example, many fake accounts are made in Facebook and in instagram by the people to attract the audience and misuse their personal details from the accounts which they hacked. In the conclusion I would like to Pen down, saying that although Facebook and Instagram is used worldwide and connected friends and family very easily, but the drawbacks are more than the benefits and created negative influence on the people's mind and even in the society.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their most of the time in surfing through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites,
mostly
Facebook and Instagram. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ponder that it causes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on both individual and society. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement to a greater extent. In
further
paragraphs, I intend to present my views regarding it.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites like Facebook and Instagram are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
worldwide for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are connected
with it. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it for contacting their friends and family members. In recent times, it is even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for marketing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business and for selling online items. For such purposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
like bank account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
, address, Aadhaar Card information and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, which can lead to increase in extortion cases.
For instance
, last year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of online stealing
were reported
due to leaking of the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of a businessman, who lost a large amount of money
The usual collocation for "facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on facebook"?
in facebook
fraud. It caused havoc in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and among the public.

Following this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by young generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they spend lots of time scrolling through
Did you mean "these"?
this
websites.
Moreover
, they become less interactive and decreases their participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
in addition
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their academic grades. This affects the
overall
growth of the individual. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up, if the youngsters are not supervised this can lead to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fake accounts
are made
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
and in
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attract the audience and misuse their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
from the accounts which they hacked.

In the conclusion I would like to Pen down, saying that although Facebook and Instagram is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
worldwide and connected friends and family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the drawbacks are more than the benefits and created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind and even in the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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