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Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. with this opinion? v. 1
In our modern world, celebrity news is ubiquitous, bombarding us 24/7. Many feel that this constant stream of star gossip is having a detrimental effect on youngsters. Personally, I completely agree that not only is the quantity of such ‘news’ troubling, but also the content sends the wrong message to children. There can be no doubt that the overwhelming amount of celebrity news in the media these days sends a powerful and worrying message to young people. When, despite global crises or tragedies, Kim Kardashian’s latest selfie is headline news, it suggests to children that celebrities and their glamorous lives are the most important things in the world. This, in turn, implies that fame ought to be the ultimate goal in everyone’s life. Such a message undermines the importance of education, of striving to achieve, and of pursuing a career in a field other than show business. Rather than being swamped by images of actors and singers, young people should be surrounded by stories of compassion, leadership and inspiration. In addition to the sheer volume of celeb news, there is also the actual content to consider. Rarely do we see stars celebrated in the media for their humanitarian work or acts of generosity. Instead, the media reports on Britney’s weight gain or loss, Beckham’s new hairstyle, or Angelina’s new shoes. This focus on superficiality reinforces the idea that life is all about looking good and having an expensive wardrobe. For young people, this message can lead to serious body image issues including anorexia and bulimia, as well as an unrealistic view of the world and of success. In conclusion, the media is saturated with the minutiae of celebrities’ lives and this is having a negative impact on the way young people see themselves and the world. It is therefore incumbent on parents and educators to steer young people away from such nonsense and towards more important stories that may inspire and motivate them to achieve something beyond simply fame.
In our modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is ubiquitous, bombarding us 24/7.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
feel that this constant stream of star gossip is having a detrimental effect on youngsters.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is the quantity of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘news’
troubling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the content
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
to children.

There can be no doubt that the overwhelming amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
a powerful and worrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When, despite global crises or tragedies, Kim Kardashian’s latest selfie is headline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, it suggests to children that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and their glamorous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This, in turn, implies that fame ought to be the ultimate goal in everyone’s life. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
undermines the importance of education, of striving to achieve, and of pursuing a career in a field other than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
business.
Rather
than
being swamped
by images of actors and singers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be surrounded
by stories of compassion, leadership and inspiration.

In addition
to the sheer volume of celeb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, there is
also
the actual content to consider. Rarely do we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
stars celebrated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for their humanitarian work or acts of generosity.
Instead
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
reports on Britney’s weight gain or loss, Beckham’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
hairstyle, or Angelina’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
shoes. This focus on superficiality reinforces the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that life is all about looking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and having an expensive wardrobe. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
can lead to serious body image issues including anorexia and bulimia,
as well
as an unrealistic view of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and of success.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is saturated
with the minutiae of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and this is having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
themselves and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It is
therefore
incumbent on parents and educators to steer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from such nonsense and towards more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stories that may inspire and motivate them to achieve something beyond
simply
fame.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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