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Many people believe that it’s better to learn something in a group rather than individually. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people believe that it’s better to learn something in a group rather than individually. v. 2
Nowadays, the phenomenon of attaining knowledge in distinctive realms has become indispensable globally. However, whether it is feasible to gain information in groups or alone is quiet debatable. While I admit that learning happens better in a calm environment, in my opinion, I strongly espouse to the notion that group studies are far more superior as compared to the individual studies and, I shall elucidate my views in the following essay. First and foremost, a group discussion facilitates healthy flow of new ideas. Indeed, distinct individuals discuss and share their opinions to one another. Hence, when they do so, not only do they display their whole thought process, but also see a clear picture on the same topic from someone's else point of view too. Consequently, they end up with a variety of vital information and can manipulate it appropriately. Moreover, group studies make learning new things more interesting. Because of the golden opportunity to share their live experiences with each other, individuals keep themselves engrossed. As a result, they actually start taking interest unlike in individual studies. For instance, a recent survey conducted in Oxford University, which is world's top-ranked university, revealed that 76. 5 % of youngsters prefer learning in groups instead of solo studies as it enables them to stay connected with the topic instead of getting lost in the dream world. To recapitulate, although gaining insights solely is sometimes beneficial, a GD definitely plays a crucial role in exchange of creative ideas and boosting the individual's interest level.
Nowadays, the phenomenon of attaining knowledge in distinctive realms has become indispensable globally.
However
, whether it is feasible to gain information in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
or alone is quiet debatable. While I admit that learning happens better in a calm environment, in my opinion, I
strongly
espouse to the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are far more superior as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and, I shall elucidate my views in the following essay.

First
and foremost, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
discussion facilitates healthy flow of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Indeed
, distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
discuss and share their opinions to one another.
Hence
, when they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they display their whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture on the same topic from someone's else point of view too.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with a variety of vital information and can manipulate it
appropriately
.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
learning new things more interesting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the golden opportunity to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
experiences with each other,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves engrossed.
As a result
, they actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking interest unlike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted in Oxford University, which is world's top-ranked university, revealed that 76. 5 % of youngsters prefer learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
instead
of solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as it enables them to stay connected with the topic
instead
of getting lost in the dream world.

To recapitulate, although gaining insights
solely
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
beneficial, a GD definitely plays a crucial role
The usual prepositions to use after "in exchange" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "in exchange for"?
in exchange of
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and boosting the individual's interest level.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that it’s better to learn something in a group rather than individually. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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