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Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media? v.1

Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media? v. 1
There is no doubt that these days violence is being common in various societies, however, the question: Is the television the main reason for upgrading harsh actions in the communities? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints, while I tend to believe that films and televisions are affecting our lives badly. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that violence is a normal act because of several problems such as unemployment. Furthermore, they think that those people are increasing the level of crime and troubles because they try to look for money or food and their only way is killing or robbery. One good example here is the situation in the United States. Some states are facing problems with a number of crimes as a result of unemployment. In addition, the country is trying to provide them with the main requirements to live, but this is not satisfactory for criminals as they are looking for more. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. Television is available for each teenager and child in all houses, however, the content is not being monitored well neither from the governments nor by parents. Furthermore, film makers target teenagers in their films by making them violent. Moreover, sometimes there is no age limit for those films, so anyone can watch even if it is not suitable for him/her. This will affect the level of violence in society and it will not be easy to control it later. For example, here in Kuwait there is a specific institute to control films and watch them before being displayed in cinemas. Also, each film has age restrictions in order to control the audience. This will help in creating a less violentviolence society. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer for this question, however, I guess the film makers should be an active part in sharing society's responsibility.
There is no doubt that these
days
violence is being common in various societies,
however
, the question: Is the television the main reason for upgrading harsh actions in the communities? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints, while I tend to believe that films and televisions are affecting our
lives
badly
.

On one side of the argument, there are
people
who argue that violence is a normal act
because
of several problems such as unemployment.
Furthermore
, they
think
that those
people
are increasing the level of crime and troubles
because
they try to look for money or food and their
only
way is killing or robbery. One
good
example here is the situation in the United States.
Some
states are facing problems with a number of crimes
as a result
of unemployment.
In addition
, the country is trying to provide them with the main requirements to
live
,
but
this is not satisfactory for criminals as they are looking for more.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case. Television is available for each
teenager
and child in all
houses
,
however
, the content is not
being monitored
well neither from the
governments
nor by parents.
Furthermore
, film makers target
teenagers
in their films by making them violent.
Moreover
,
sometimes
there is no age limit for those films,
so
anyone can
watch
even if it is not suitable for him/her. This will affect the level of violence in society and it will not be easy to control it later.
For example
, here in Kuwait there is a specific institute to control films and
watch
them
before
being displayed
in cinemas.
Also
, each film has age restrictions in order to control the audience. This will
help
in creating a less
violentviolence
society.

In conclusion
, as we have
seen
there is no easy answer for this question,
however
, I guess the film makers should be an active part in sharing society's responsibility.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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