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The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. v. 1
Nowadays, social media has provided a platform for people to share their views, which resulted in exponential growth in the usage of social media websites or apps. A group of people argue towards the benefits of social sites in providing freedom for the public to share their views extensively and a method to connect, whereas, another group argues against it, and claimed the fear of espionage of data by these platforms. This essay will discuss both views before laying down any conclusion. To begin with, the social media platforms provide the best mode to connect with friends and family, in spite of that, they offer the easiest mode to express opinions, share ideas and knowledge. These platforms are extensively used by users for elevating their business and marketing, this has expanded boundaries of our imagination. In addition to that, this mode helped to transform information into whole wide world in a blink of an eye, and possesses no restrictions to anyone. To illustrate, Facebook and Instagram, became part of everyone’s life, not only to socialize but to do business as well. On the other hand, the contradicting viewpoint of social media, using data for monetary purposes is seemingly true. Before entering into any social website, an enormous amount of data is required to sign-up, this will remain with the platform for eternity. Numerous data displayed on the web page ready to be scrutinized by notorious people and serious damage an individual’s privacy. To cite an example, in 2018, the Facebook database got hacked for 10 seconds, caused nearly a million users data floating online, which became the reason for unauthorized transactions. To conclude, although, social media is the best platform for sharing views and making people come closer, however, I opine that, these platforms can be breached, which may cause damage to the users.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has provided a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
, which resulted in exponential growth in the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
websites or apps. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue towards the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites in providing freedom for the public to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
extensively
and a method to connect, whereas, another group argues against it, and claimed the fear of espionage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
. This essay will discuss both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
laying down any conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
provide the best mode to connect with friends and family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
that, they offer the easiest mode to express opinions, share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and knowledge. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
are
extensively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by users for elevating their business and marketing, this has expanded boundaries of our imagination.
In addition
to that, this mode
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to transform information into whole wide world in a blink of an eye, and possesses no restrictions to anyone. To illustrate, Facebook and Instagram, became part of everyone’s life, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to socialize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to do business
as well
.

On the other hand
, the contradicting viewpoint of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
for monetary purposes is
seemingly
true.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
entering into any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
website, an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
-up, this will remain with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
for eternity. Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
displayed on the web page ready to
be scrutinized
by notorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and serious damage an individual’s privacy. To cite an example, in 2018, the Facebook database
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hacked for 10 seconds, caused
nearly
a million users
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
floating online, which became the reason for unauthorized transactions.

To conclude
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
for sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer,
however
, I opine that, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
can
be breached
, which may cause damage to the users.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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